Reckless
by kayellin
Summary: After a rough start in the relationship department, Clarke and Bellamy are faced with complicated decisions and necessary choices for their lives and the lives of their friends. REUPLOADING CHAPTERS-FIXING MISTAKES (Chapter 1-5Done)
1. Chapter 1

"_Say baby, Imma wake up for you_

_Imma have my way with your body_

_And when I'm done touching you_

_I bet you won't want to_

_Give yourself to nobody"_

Chapter 1:

Clarke closed her eyes—opened them again. Then, closed her eyes once more. She was _truly_ exhausted but plagued with the constant inability to find rest. The soft grass beneath her body wasn't comforting her into a beautiful, light sleep. Its cool nature should have soothed her aching skin and lulled her to sleep but her body refused to let go… most likely because her head was screaming that sleep was a waste of valuable time. She could be looking for medical supplies. She could be organizing or discussing strategy. If she didn't have to sleep—"Clarke." She heard Bellamy moan her name. She lifted her head, peeking at him from across the fire. It was odd sleeping near him and his presence could be a reason she was finding it hard to rest. Bellamy made the executive decision to split up their search group to cover more ground without asking her beforehand, dismissing her with a hand gesture. They were supposed to meet back at the river by noon tomorrow. A part of her was grateful that she did not have to deal with Finn and Raven but she was mostly annoyed that Bellamy disrespected her. He was supposed to value her opinion as a co-leader, he was supposed to _ask _her first.

Concerned that he was hurt and kept his condition a secret, a common thing when it came to Bellamy, she crawled across the grass to him. Her hand hovered over his forehead to check for a fever. She watched as his lips moved, her name falling from his mouth again in a throaty moan. Her eyes widened when she realized he was sleeping peacefully—there was nothing physically wrong with him.

"Hey jackass, I'm right here." She whispered, her eyes scanning his serene features. Envious of his ability to fall out of consciousness, she angrily asked him, "Why the hell are you dreaming about me?" Clarke reflexively leaned her ear towards his mouth so she could catch his words. He practically groaned her name, sending a shiver up her spine at how _loud _he was. "Bellamy." She called, her voice rough and flustered as she tried to wake him. How could he affect her like this? She felt a "minor" tingle in the lower regions of her body when he released a soft groan in response. What happened to Bellamy being repulsive? What happened to her annoyance? She shook his body because she couldn't tolerate it anymore. "Bellamy!"

"What?" His eyelids flew open, his arms moving quickly so he could prop himself up on his elbows. His eyes examined their location quickly before he protectively grabbed her wrist, "Grounders? Clarke…answer me? Are you okay?" Her words failed her as she tried to comprehend why he _cared _so much.

"No." Clarke shook her head before moving her eyes to the crushed pieces of grass around their bodies. Even in the dark, the grass was beautiful—Earth was beautiful. "You were talking in your sleep…I just…I couldn't…"

"Oh." Bellamy was staring at her, watching the faint blush move up her skin as she recalled how it made her feel…how it felt to hear her name on his lips. She tried to steady her thoughts, exhaling as she focused on the important things. The camp. The campers. Her chin tilted towards the sky as she thought about the events of Earth. She knew the Ark was failing, but how could they? How could they send them to the ground? Children…they were only children. How would it be when they came down to Earth? Would they see the beauty the way she did? Would her mother marvel at the night sky? Would she find the slick dampness of the grass relaxing? Her thoughts were starting to give her a headache—it seemed like there was not a safe-haven when it came to her mind. Between surviving, her complicated relationship with her mother and the Ark failing… it was too much.

"What were you dreaming about?" She turned her attention back to Bellamy because she _needed _a distraction despite the awkwardness of the conversation. Maybe he was hurt? Maybe it wasn't a _sex _dream.

"Nothing." He cleared his throat, squinting his eyes momentarily before saying "I can't remember…" Clarke cursed Bellamy in her head. Why couldn't he lie better? She _knew _he could lie better than that.

"Bellamy…" She let his name hang in the air until the wind touched her blonde hair, letting it fly in the opposite direction. She inhaled the chill, the freshness running through her nose and filling her body until she could ask the question again. "What were you dreaming about?"

He faked annoyance, "I told you I can't remember. Stop prying, Clarke. Mind your own business."

"What were you dreaming about?" She was on her knees, leaning closer to him as a way of intimidation. Clarke did not realize that the view down her shirt wasn't intimidating, it was arousing. She expected him to respond with animosity but his calloused hands gripped the side of her face. He waited for her to respond with disgust, annoyance, something she was _supposed _to respond with. She didn't. He brought his face closer to hers until his nose pressed to the side of hers. She noticed his lips were hard against hers—needy and forceful. She moved closer to him until their clothed bodies were pressed together with such force that she thought they could meld. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers tangling in the unruly curls on the nape of his neck as her hot pant touched his cheek when she attempted to breathe. He bit her lip upon returning, which was unexpected but accepted urgently. Her lips parted, another gasp moving through her when he massaged her tongue with his.

She didn't know what she was doing—she didn't want to know what she was doing…she just wanted to do it. She smirked, breaking their kiss, and pushed at his chest so he would lay flat against the ground. Her legs moved to straddle him—distantly, she thought about how she hoped she appeared sexy rather than completely inexperienced. What if he didn't like it? Was she taking this too far? The look in his brown eyes said he _wanted _her. He c_raved _her. She reclaimed his lips as his hands gripped her hips tightly before he started leaving a trail of need up her lower back. He drew circles into her skin, lightly at first, before he pressed harder into her. She moaned into their kiss because it felt _so good. _

Bellamy moved his head, breaking the kiss. He huskily warned her, "Unless you want to go farther than this tonight, Princess, don't make that noise again." It was like she had one night to live—this was normal, this was what normal teenagers did, right? They had regrettable sex or at least, reckless sex. She wanted to be impulsive. She grinded down on him, feeling the hardness between her thighs. She felt like she was heating up too fast...was she supposed to react this way? She took in a deep breath before she closed the distance again—ignoring his warning completely.

She felt his hands moving up and down her while she controlled their kisses—first softly, then tenderly, then pure lascivious want. Their animated noises beaconing throughout the small clearing were the only thing they could hear—the crickets, the rustle of leaves were all covered by her soft moans and Bellamy's encouragements. Bellamy's hands slid up her hips revealing more and more of her creamy ivory skin. His thumb rested near her navel while their tongues battled for dominance. He tasted like the berries they ate for dinner and Bellamy—just Bellamy and his manly, self-reliant, dauntless attitude. She liked his taste. She basked in _that taste_ for a long time before Bellamy pulled her shirt over her head. She paused, normally she didn't feel self-conscience but seeing him in all of his attractive glory, she felt extremely less. He brushed aside her hair from her face and mused, "You're perfect, Clarke." She knew that he was the master of charisma. He could be lying…

Her cheeks were tainted with a red blush, "You don't mean that."

"Baby, I'm so turned on right now by how alluring you are… I swear you're perfect." He took action, flipping her on to her back. "And I'm going to prove it to you." Clarke was gorgeous to him. Far more attractive than anyone he'd ever been with before. Those soft curves made him completely crazy. He placed open mouth kisses over the edges of her bra and then on the exposed skin of her breast. He reached behind her back and unclasped her black bra, tossing it beside her head. A loud moan vibrated through her lips when his mouth connected with the bud of her nipple. His teeth scraped over her skin, the roughness and the gentleness blending as she closed her eyes.

He thoroughly enjoyed making her moan like that as if she'd never been touched before. She was gripping at his hair, trying to keep him focused on _that spot_ but he brought his head up as a thought crossed his mind, "Clarke…" He cleared his throat and began speaking, "Are you a virgin?"

"No." She answered, blushing a dark color—her eyes searching his as if she had something to be ashamed of. It was funny, really, because Bellamy was far from virginal. "I've been with Finn."

"Finn?" That annoyed him a bit because it was _Finn. _"Anyone else?"

"No." She replied, her eyebrows furrowing. Bellamy's annoyance faded away when he thought about how Clarke was reacting to his every touch… like she'd never been touched like that. And who was he to judge her? He brushed away his pride because he wanted her—he wanted her so bad. His hand swept across her face, softer than she expected it to be as he _accepted her _and she a_ccepted him. _ She became more aware of his arousal. She guided his shirt off of his arms—those big, sexy arms. She watched him roll of her body to take off his pants. Her eyes follow the worn material as it moved down his legs along with his underwear. She didn't want her stare to linger as her heartbeat became irregular—he was endowed, honestly, and the former virgin in her returned.

Of course, every girl has this moral obligation to lie about the size of their partner to their face. But seriously, Bellamy was the biggest she'd ever seen (not that she was going around gawking at every male's manhood.) Her first time with Finn was the only comparison she had when it came to sex and it was absolutely horrible if she was being honest with herself—in the moment, it was great…but afterwards…

She pushed the thought out of her head as she unbuttoned her own pants, sliding her jeans down her legs. Bellamy wasted no time pressing their bare chests against one another, his lips touching her neck in anticipation.

The sensitive hairs on the back of her neck were pulled as he tangled his fingers in her waves, "What's wrong?" He asked, his voice low and soft as he studied her. She didn't want to tell him that she was worried—she didn't want to sound like a child. She explicitly kissed him, telling him "come-and-get-me" with her hungry touches. Her fears subsided when he returned the embrace immediately. He asked her, his eyes still trying to find disgust in hers, "Are you ready?" She nodded, allowing his hand to move her knee over. He positioned himself, slowly pushing into her. A small groan escaped his lips as he felt the tightness of her around him. "God…"

Her back arched, pushing her breast to his chest as he pushed in and out slowly. He was testing the waters and making sure that he wouldn't hurt her by going too rough- even though he wanted to ravish her. Clarke was testing the waters too. She brought her leg up around his legs so he would push deeper. She pushed her head into the grass when she started moaning louder and louder. At least she wasn't the only one making loud sounds. Bellamy's face was sweaty like their bodies and his face was flustered. No smirk, no cockiness- just vulnerability as he thrust into her repeatedly. He decided to speed up when she dug her nails into his back. "Bellamy!" She started saying his name over and over again in a pleasurable groan while she neared her climax.

Clarke felt his body tensing, "Clarke." He moaned into her neck. She felt him spasm and finally release himself into her. She panted underneath him for a long time before he rolled off of her. She told herself to calm down- don't say anything about the experience. She started dressing herself having to reach over his breathless naked form to grab her shirt. They barely made eye-contact. In fact, his eyes were closed so they didn't have to make eye contact.

There it was… the awkward post-sex tango. Tomorrow morning was going to be _fantastic_ with him. "You should get dressed." She told him, "You don't want to get cold and you don't want to be taken by grounders while naked." She didn't look at him when she talked.

Bellamy sat up, side-glancing at her while she put her shirt over her head. He thought about how his lips graced her skin minutes ago. He started throwing on his clothes. "Princess…"

"We don't have to talk about it." She said. _Am I that bad? I knew he wasn't being truthful about how I looked… Dammit, what the hell is wrong with me? Having sex with him? Am I sick in the head or just fucking stupid? _

"I don't regret it." Bellamy informed her, "Not a second of it. I'm just tired, baby… I'm just tired."

His new nickname for her was a common nickname but it was one that had meaning. "Okay." She said, trying to settle down after her irrational fears took hold of her brain. He moved closer and wrapped his arms around her waist. She turned into him, pressing her head into his neck.

Bellamy fell asleep first, his head sinking down to her shoulder while he snored. She tucked underneath him and closed her eyes until she was sound asleep.

XXX

Clarke and Bellamy avoided each other like they had a deadly disease that could only be passed through talking about their night. She was starting to convince herself that it never happened. She, more than anything, wanted to convince herself that it never happened. She'd woken up with a slight pain after their night and avoided discussing her occasional wincing for hours before they opened their mouths to address one another on the subject.

It crossed her mind that Bellamy didn't know what to say—what do you say after such an impulsive and reckless night with the person you're expected to lead beside? There wasn't exactly a handbook on one-night-stands-with-your-partner lying around in the tall grasslands or rocky surfaces they were hiking through so they could return home. Clarke started to ask herself if it was truly a one night stand… what if he wanted to do that every night? There was a piece of her that wanted that even if the rational side of her was scolding her for the idea. Was Bellamy even that bad? Sure, he pissed her off but…was he the same person that she assumed he was the second they met?

If she were being honest with herself…

_Yes._ Bellamy was still a jackass, he still protected his sister at all costs…he was still that guy. If she thought any differently, she would be mistaken. That didn't mean that Bellamy was _only _that person. He certainly grew on her. If he were to die, she would mourn him. It disturbed her sometimes that her gauge for compassion was measured on those grounds. Death shouldn't be her unit of measurement. Yet, as she watched him…she was satisfied that she could admit that there was a place for him in her heart. But, what about his heart? She thought about Bellamy's life. She thought about what she knew and what she'd seen and her heart started beating irregularly again. The images of multiple girls running in and out of his tent flew through her mind. Did she just accidentally join his harem?

_Oh, hell no. _

"I'm not part of your skank squad." Clarke informed him because he needed to know that she wasn't one of _them. _

Bellamy chuckled, "No one is asking you to be part of my so-called _Skank Squad." _Then he turned to her, "What are we 15, Clarke? Talk to me." Fifteen. Clarke thought about fifteen—she didn't know what Bellamy was dong when he was fifteen, but she was reading and studying medicine. She didn't have any interests in having meaningless sex—she just wanted to hang out with her best friend and occasionally sketch something beautiful.

"You have a mouth, too." She pointed out, struggling with intelligence and decent come-backs. The sound of water ran through her mind. They were finally only remotely familiar ground and some sort of confidence returned to her—none of which had anything to do with Bellamy.

"Thanks for the insight doctor, I had no idea I had a mouth." He rolled his eyes before he cleared his throat, "We had sex." He moved back a branch, holding it so it wouldn't hit her. Would he let her get hit yesterday? She was trying not to overthink every action he made but it was _hard. _

"That, we did." Awkwardly, she pushed forward "Now what?"

Bellamy shrugged, "I don't know what you want me to say."

"What do you want to say?" She questioned, "What are you thinking? You're leaving me out here to think on my own and trust me when I say post-sex adolescent girl mind is a scary fucking place."

Bellamy looked at her with dark eyes, "You're far from a _girl_." He told her, "After last night… you're all woman to me." The memory of his flustered face, his thrusts and groans all rose to the surface of her brain. How he felt…how she moaned his name…how she wanted him more than anything else in the entire world…

"I'm completely inexperienced." _Where the fuck are you going with this, Clarke? _She asked herself, annoyed because this was not what she wanted to talk about. She wanted to talk about the status of their relationship—or not relationship.

"Maybe that's what I like about you." Bellamy said, "Plus, you have a pretty steep learning curve…and last night was…it was great." He started talking about their performance with a cheeky grin, "Next time, we could try to last longer though. But that's just as much as my fault as it is yours. But you were the one who woke me up with sex…"

"So, you're banking on a next time?" She asked. He only nodded, "Okay." She returned his nod, "Let's come to an understanding then… If we're going to continue this any further I don't want you with someone else. It's not a jealousy thing, it really isn't, but multiple sexual partners is disgusting. I'm not going to be part of the cycle."

"I can agree to that." He said like it was the easiest choice in the entire world.

"Good. Second, this is only temporary. If either of us meet someone and start a relationship this is off." She said, "This is only a mutual benefit thing. It's just sex. That being said, I know you well enough that you'll want to put down some type of claim but you can't do that. This is not a relationship. Your business, when it comes to me, is only sex and making sure I stay true to the terms I set and any terms you plan on setting."

"Spoken like a true leader." Bellamy claimed, "But I do reserve the right to tell people you're mine. I won't have them ogling you more than they already do." She was completely unware of any ogling.

"But I'm not yours."

Bellamy rolled his eyes, "Sexual relationships are relationships. I don't need anyone trying to fuck with you. Like you said, my business is sex with _you_. No one else is going to even think about what I do with you as something they can do with you."

She only nodded in agreement after thinking about how Bellamy would go against her wishes _anyway_, "It's a monogamous sexual relationship without all of the typical relationship requirements and emotions."

"Who said we couldn't agree on things?" Bellamy looked across the opening leading to the river and frowned. "They're early."

"That's a good thing." Clarke told him, "That means we can get back to camp and see the mess we left behind _sooner_." It was awkward, walking over to Raven and Finn, throwing down the meager supplies they'd found. She knew there would be another search soon. That thought distracted her for a few moments while Raven explained why they had _nothing _to show for their efforts. Clarke tried to back away from Finn's watchful gaze. It felt wrong—it felt so wrong for her to feel so different.

She sighed when they started the journey back to camp. As soon as she could bury herself in injuries and complaints, she would be out of this daze. The thought of her agreement with Bellamy stuck in her mind and she knew it was a bad idea…but didn't she deserve an outlet like everyone else? Bellamy could understand her, Bellamy could bring her pleasure. Clarke stayed behind Raven and Finn for the majority of the trip. She watched as Bellamy pretended nothing happened between them and she wished she had that type of resolve. Why was she suddenly failing at being oblique? Tension was extremely high because Bellamy was pissed. Clearly, Raven and Finn fell behind on their duties and he and Clarke busted their ass yesterday trying to find things to keep them alive. His eyes pointedly stared into the back of Finn's head as he tucked his hand in Clarke's back pocket.

She was shocked, her mouth falling open before she bit the inside of her cheek. If touching her prevented him from starting a fight with two necessary individuals in their camp structure, she wasn't going to protest. His fingers dug into the material but not hard enough to cause pain. To be honest, Clarke was annoyed, too. Finn and Raven selfishly put their personal needs above the camp. Survival was key…what if the path Finn and Raven took had blankets? Unperishable food? Wires? And they decided to have sex instead—how could she be mad, though? She and Bellamy…

But they got their job done beforehand.

Impulsive recklessness washed over her, preventing her from giving a damn about what anyone thought… She leaned into his side when his hand started creeping up her back, his nails lightly brushing her lower back. He was tense until her hand started rubbing down his back. He liked that. She liked that he liked that. He moved his arm to circle her, his hand moving underneath her shirt until it was under her bra.

They reached a drop off in the ground which caused Clarke to pull away from him so they wouldn't stumble and fall. Finn helped Raven down and went to help Clarke down but Clarke knew Bellamy's mood was already bad enough and he would read too much into it in his "delicate" state. She was enjoying herself too much to test out his possessive jealousy. She jumped, making a face at the returning soreness in her groin. "You okay?" Finn asked, his eyebrows pushing together as he paid too much attention to her. "You pull something?"

"No." She said, side-glancing at Bellamy who looked at her with a smug look. She confirmed his suspicions when she whispered, "Don't say anything" when she was sure Finn and Raven couldn't hear them.

"I'm surprised you didn't say anything." Bellamy shrugged but remained smug the entire time, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to."

"It's not exactly your fault." She blushed, "I just…_you_…" The start of her sentence made Bellamy grin with a raised eyebrow. "You know what I mean." Her voice was louder than she thought it was going to be. Finn and Raven looked back at them, the real look of concern coming from Finn. Bellamy shot him a glare that told him to mind his own damn business. Without much protest, because Raven was there, Finn turned around.

Bellamy tried to disguise their conversation because he desperately wanted to finish. He needed the ego boost from her. He needed the distraction. "I tried to be easy about _it_." She noted that he needed work when it came to disguising conversation. His hand returned to their intimate position from before the drop off. His long fingers touched her hardening nipple, making her breathing uneasy but she was certain he was the only one that could hear it.

"Like I said, it's not your fault." She said, "I'll get used to it." Her cerulean eyes moved up to his face so she could survey his reaction. He responded well, telling her that he liked it when she talked about the details of their sex life. _Their_ sex life… She wanted him right then and she didn't care who was there but she had some type of self-control. "It just felt like losing _it_ again."

He moved closer to her, whispering in her ear, "Princess, I don't know if that's supposed to make me feel bad or good about myself."

She closed her eyes, "You should feel good about yourself, Bellamy Blake." She said when she opened her eyes, shaking the feeling of senselessness. "You brought a lot of—"

"Are you discussing supply rations because I have a good idea." Raven yelled in front of them. She and Finn were about seven feet ahead of them. Bellamy quickly jerked his hand from under her shirt and placed it in his own pocket before Raven turned around. "We aren't trying to have some type of Ark council shit so obviously everything can't go to the important people in camp. We have to disperse evenly."

Clarke spoke up before Bellamy could say something about working hard and getting rewarded, "I really thought there was going to be more supplies where you two went. Sorry for leading you on a goose chase." It was a guilt trip.

"It's fine." Raven said with a smile that could only be translate as _I won, bitch_. She was implying that she and Finn had sex. There was something animal-like in Clarke's head and she returned Raven's smile because it felt like Clarke was _winning. _"I imagine if we were to go further east there would be supplies. I read awhile back that there was more affluent families that way who could afford to build bunkers. We might get lucky." Raven and Clarke needed to get along for things to work. In the end, it was about survival. She wasn't surprised when Raven changed her expression and started talking to Clarke like a normal person rather than a feisty girlfriend.

Clarke nodded, "We should reassemble in a week and search for more supplies. We need them."

"Agreed." Bellamy said, "One week and then another search."

Raven nodded, "Sounds good."

XXX

Her mind was frazzled by the sensation of Bellamy moving his hands across her body the entire trip. She was ready to jump him. She was so _ready _for him. But, they had things to take care of when they returned.

There were bruises, possible infections, deep cuts, shallow cuts and a few "girl" arguments that could only be mediated by another "girl." It was Miller who came up with that grand statement. She wrinkled her nose at Miller's sexist implication before Bellamy's second left the drop ship. She liked Miller sometimes. She hated Miller sometimes. It was like her relationship with Raven if she had to compare it to something.

She felt someone's hands on her hips as the sky darkened around her. "Bellamy, stop!" She giggled causing him to laugh against her skin. He continued to kiss lightly on her neck until she pushed her body into him. He started suck in response. She moaned, "_Don't make it _that_ noticeable_." He continued to suck but having her permission caused him to change… He kept his lips soft against her, trying to take it slow. He paused on the mark he was creating to kiss her jaw and then returned back to the spot. His breath cooled the area when he was finished marking her as _his._ "Your place or mine?" She asked, her voice heavy with desire.

"Dirt or panther fur?" He said like the answer was obvious. "I'll wait for you."

"Try not to get started without me." Clarke winked at him. He turned around, licking his bottom lip like he didn't know what to say. "Forget something?" She pulled at her shirt, showing more cleavage to halt him in his steps. His breathing escalated. "You know…" She wiggled a finger at him teasingly, "We could do it right now, right _here_."

He fought to regain himself, "Princess… you're being mean." He groaned, "You know I like to get pay back."

She smirked, "Maybe I'm counting on it."

"I won't hold back."

"I don't want you to."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

Bellamy backed up and walked out of the drop ship. She'd won. Her little smile lasted the entire ten minutes she needed to make her way across the camp. She moved quickly, her hands already pulling off her jacket when she walked into his tent. He was sitting at the edge of his "bed" without his shirt on. He was going to stand up. "Stay there." She said, "I want to try something."

She fell to her knees in front of him, unbuttoning his pants and helping him pull them down below his ankles. His underwear followed. Her hand gripped his erection, her thumb rubbing against the sensitive skin. She looked up at him, her heavy lashes flutter as she blushed. He nodded encouragingly. Her heart beat quickened as she pressed her pink lips to his tip, her tongue flicking across him. His fingers tangled in her blonde hair, bringing her head down on him. Her little fingers dug into his exposed legs while her head began to bob up and down. The only thing he could hear was the sound of his shallow breaths and her quiet sucking sounds.

"Clarke…" He moaned. He was trying to control her speed because he didn't want her to go too far. He needed to last. He thought about how beautifully frivolous she was being with their new-found relationship. Sex had allowed her to shed all of her uptight nature and really let loose to enjoy their time. He had an aching feeling that she might regret this one day- he would accept that and let her go. Still, with the way she was making him feel right now he wasn't so sure that he ever wanted to let her go. He felt the familiar sensation arising within him. He lightly tugged at her hair to pull her head up. An audible 'pop' echoed in his ears. Her face fell, "No baby, you did great. That was amazing."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." He nodded, "Now it's your turn."

He picked her up and placed her on his bed, kissing down her shirt and the top of her pants. He took them off carefully placing wet kisses on her inner thigh before going for her underwear. He slid them down over her knees and down to her ankles, letting them fall to the floor. She looked up at him, completely unaware of what kind of pleasure she was in for.

He brought his body up, pulling her shirt over her head and kissing those beautiful breasts. He unclasped her bra and immediately started flicking the bud of her nipple with his tongue. He felt them harden underneath his tongue as well as he fingers on her other breast. He would pull away and kiss up her stomach and repeat the process. Then, he would kiss her lips delicately as a reassurance that he still wanted her very much.

He decided she was wet enough to go for what he really wanted to do after a while of heavy touching. He kissed at her legs and moved up until his tongue traced her opening. Her breathing hitched. He grabbed her hand, rubbing circles along it carefully. His tongue flicked experimentally at her clit to gauge her reaction. When she moaned he continued, her head falling deeper into his pillow. He took his hand from her hand and placed it on her hip and used his other fingers to plunge inside of her. He started out with one but then switched to two.

He listened to her heavy breathing and moans as he kept at a steady pace before he pulled one of her legs over his shoulder. Her hand gripped his hair, "Oh my god…" She moaned while her hips bucked a little. He increased his grip on her so she would remember who was in charge of this. Her nibbled on her clit which caused her to moan extremely loud. He tried to push deeper with his tongue and that was his intention when she said, "Right there… Bellamy…!" She was extremely breathy and wet but he knew that he had to listen to her even if he was running the show. "Bellamy!" She groaned when he continued in the spot she'd specified.

He sucked, licked and occasionally bit until she was uncontrollably bucking into his face. She shuddered and closed her eyes, her leg prying away from his shoulder. He kissed her thighs, kissed her stomach- then kissed between her breasts until he made it up her neck. He started to suck on the love bite he'd placed on her earlier to darken the color before he met her lips. She broke their kiss, moving her mouth to his neck. She was attempting to give him a mark identical to hers. He let her do it, groaning when it felt good. He placed his palm against her inner thigh, moving her legs apart again.

She closed her eyes, letting him navigate her the way he needed her. She trusted him with her pleasure. He'd proven that he could administer and take her needs into account. She liked the way his brown eyes sunk into hers and made her melt. She liked how he got turned on by her even if she was unoriginal and far from spectacular (her personal opinion.) She enjoyed the rough feel of his hands against her more sensitive skin. She found herself with her knee almost pressed against her boob as he pushed into her. Her back arched just enough for him to slip his hand behind her back.

His slow thrust had her moaning softly, making him smile at her blissful beauty. Her skin was a slight pink color, her hair spread out like a halo around her. Her lips were red from his repeated attacks on them and her eyelashes fluttered like a little bird's wings. Her breast were still hardened and her mouth was opened in a small 'O'. He liked everything about her. He was distracted by her everything when she flipped them over.

She straddled him, pushing down and making direct eye contact. "That's so hot." Bellamy said, pushing her hair behind her shoulder while he thrust up into her. She grinded down on him, rolling her hips while he groaned beneath her. She looked like she was about to relinquish control back to him when he said, "No baby keep going." He closed his eyes and let her ride him. There was something about her crying out that made him harder and harder. He grabbed her hips and let her bounce on him. Her breast hitting him in the face a little. Her back arched further, her arms grabbing his shoulders.

"I'm close, Bell." She said, bringing her lips to his. He continued to push up into her until she was screaming his name. He flipped them back over and drove into her at the most pleasurable speed she could handle. She was moaning and groaning and making all the good sex noises every guy wanted to hear. She was bucking her hips- right on the edge.

"Say you're mine, Clarke." He begged her. "Say it, baby…"

"I'm yours." She moaned, letting him drive her over the edge. His body started shaking as he pushed deeper and deeper, faster and faster.

"God!" He groaned as he finally released. She kissed his neck while he came, her tongue trailing up to his ear. He laid on top of her for the longest time, their bodies dripping with sweat and their intermingled body fluids. His eyes rested on her face while he thought about what just happened. She found that she would be perfectly content with this arrangement forever if she had to be. Thinking on it, who else would she be with? Finn- uh, hell no. He'd burnt his bridges to the ground by betraying her fragile trust… and these other criminals- the ones that went away for violent unjustified crimes? No fucking way. Bellamy made sense- this arrangement made sense and she was a rational person.

"I'm yours." She repeated breathlessly with closed eyes. He put his head on her chest and listened to her heart beat. It was strong and quick. Her fingers began to trace the reddish mark on his neck. "Are you mine, too?"

He exhaled, "Yes, I am." She thought he really meant it.

They were in that position for a long time until Clarke fell asleep. Bellamy tucked her naked body underneath his panther blanket with a content smile on his face. He slid on his underwear and laid next to her. His breathing was still ragged but his thoughts were focused. He could only think about her. He never knew sex could be so… he didn't even have a word for it. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. He closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around her and nuzzling his face into her neck before he drifted off into a light sleep.

He dreamt of something impossible:

_Clarke walked down the stairs with a charming smile, "Going to work Jackass?" Her tone wasn't harsh, it was endearing. She jumped to the last stair and kissed his cheek. She was wearing clean fashionable clothes. Her fair skin covered by a royal blue top that brought out her beautiful eyes and her legs covered in a light-washed denim with pre-made tears around the knees. Her feet were bare because of the luxury of their house. He noticed her nails were painted like the movies he'd seen with Octavia. She looked like a true princess. _

_He looked down at himself, a suit on his body. It didn't even look right but he could play the part in this dream. _

_Suddenly, he wasn't seeing the scene through his eyes- rather, as an outsider. Clarke held a baby bottle in her hand, shaking it at him. "Bennett finally sleeping?" He could think of Bennett as if he existed. Blonde hair and blue eyes like his mother- he could see his hair darkening more and more each day as Bennett became a reflection of Bellamy. He was beautiful and chubby (the way a healthy baby should be.) He was everything… and in Bellamy's dream- he had everything. _

"_Yeah I-"_

The sound of Bellamy's tent flap flipping back didn't immediately wake him. No, it was the sound of spacewalker's annoying voice. At first, it was frantic. "We can't find Clarke!" He started off and then his voice died off. "What the hell is going on in here?" He demanded to know. Bellamy tucked Clarke further under the blanket and looked at Finn- he felt his blood run cold.

"Why are you just standing there? Get the fuck out!" Bellamy said, "Now!" Clearly Clarke was indecent and this entitled jackass was just standing there with his fucking mouth opened trying to sneak a peek at her beautiful curves. It made Bellamy furious. Who the hell did Finn think he was, anyways? What did Clarke ever see in him? Finn Collins and Clarke Griffin were a disaster pair from the start. He wasted a _month _of oxygen so he could have "fun" giving the Ark one less _month _to survive. And Clarke- she'd gone to prison because she wanted to inform people the ark was dying because they didn't have sufficient _oxygen. _

"Clarke!" He yelled, disregarding Bellamy's existence. Bellamy looked him in the eye, blind fury overpowering his senses. How dare he barge into his tent and wake the princess up- _his _princess up? Clarke shifted in her sleep causing Bellamy to look down at the angel.

"Bellamy." She groaned sleepily before opening her eyes. Something clicked and she jumped up, hugging Bellamy's blanket closer to her skin. "Why are you just standing there? Get the fuck out!" She yelled. Bellamy suppressed a smirk at her word usage- they'd been on the same page. He met Finn's eyes, watched how he was displeased with the situation and storm out of the tent. Clarke looked at Bellamy, "Why was he just standing there?" She was mortified.

"I don't know, maybe he thought he would get a show." Bellamy's eyes continued to flicker with resentment, hate, jealousy and all the other possessive emotions he could bundle in his head. He hated him. At first, he didn't like him but now he really hated him. Hated him for the stupidest reasons, too. Bellamy hated Finn because he was Clarke's first. He hated Finn because he wasn't assumed to be a jackass but really was. He hated Finn because he tried to be the hero. He hated Finn- god, he just hated Finn.

"I should…damage control." She yawned mid-sentence, the blanket swooping down to show pieces of her elegant skin. Bellamy wanted to lay her body down and make love to her until the sun came up. He wanted to do it all night- every night until she couldn't even think straight. He wanted her to forget Finn Collins.

But he didn't. He stood still- maybe too still. "Do what you have to do." He told her with a straight face. Clarke nodded and put on her clothes. Bellamy just sat there watching her. He didn't know what to say- he just knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to tell her to stay. He wanted to tell her that they could work out if they really tried and this didn't have to be a night-by-night thing- he could be a forever type of thing. He wanted to tangle his fingers in her hair and kiss her, pull her back down into his bed and never let her leave.

"I don't have feelings for him, Bellamy." She said, "Not that you really care because this is just sex but I don't… I don't feel for him anymore."

"Like you said, this is just sex." Bellamy said, "You don't have to explain yourself to me."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

A stray tear ran down her face along with the small water droplets coming from the sky. She wasn't crying because she was sad—no, that was weak. She was breaking at the seams because she was so angry with the entire situation she'd put herself in. "I don't know what you want me to say, Finn!" She said while shaking her head at a moderate pace.

Finn's hands were in his hair while he tried to form some type of sentence to express how he felt. His eyes told her that he was angry. His shaking fingers and quick brushing movements in his black hair told her he was aggravated—even considering violence. His lips parted and closed informed her that he wanted to say something.

And her—well, her everything told him that she wasn't sorry.

"I want you to say you were drunk or high or something!" Finn yelled, "I want you to tell me that what I just saw was a momentary lapse in judgment and you will regret it for the rest of your life."

She opened her mouth but there were no words. It was written across her delicately flushed skin, hidden behind the angry tears in her eyes, tucked away somewhere in her heart. She waited for him to say something else but they could only look at each other with equally knowing expressions.

How do you regret god given solace? It's like regretting to breathe when you're suffocating. She couldn't diminish the moments leading up to this confrontation with Finn no more than she could stop the impending storm or the Ark from running out of air. She couldn't forget his calloused hands, she couldn't destroy the memory of his lips, and she couldn't fight her emotions every single day to make Finn happy… and it wasn't just because she couldn't but because she _wouldn't_.

The droplets propelling from the sky brought her thoughts circling back to reality. The moment the water sprinkled down her hair and rested easily on her eyelids was the moment she regained the ability to speak. She said two words, "I can't."

Finn looked at her, "I don't understand why you can't!" He clapped his hands together in a pleading symbol and moved forward causing her to step back. "Explain it to me, Clarke—please, explain it to me. What do you see in that animal?"

"I see flawed greatness and mistakes all of which aren't clouded by lies. I see an adult who can, at times, be wholly selfish but trust me when I say that I see someone that is wholly worthy of my time. I see someone that deserves it." She paused, choking back the words she so desperately wanted to say.

Finn knew where her speech was going, "Unlike me." His hands grabbed her shoulders, shaking her slightly. "That's what you were going to say, right? Unlike me! Well, guess what Clarke Griffin? You love me and I'm going to prove that you love me."

Clarke tried to escape his strong grip with repeated rough movements until her thoughts focused on a clear comeback. "I could have loved you. There was definitely a spark but like most sparks, you faded. Your glory died and it will never resurface. I _could have_ loved you but I know someone that will always love you…even if they shouldn't."

"That's your move—bringing Raven into this?" He shook her head again, "She has nothing to do with us."

"But she does, Finn. She gave you her heart and you're sneaking around her back trying to get something you _can't_ have." She jerked away from him after his grip lessened. "You will never be able to have me. What happened, happened. We have nothing and we never will."

"What are you going to do, Clarke, walk away? You can't walk away. It's not in you." He was daring her, he never realized that she didn't have a problem accepting his dare. She'd tasted recklessness, and even if pissing off the best tracker in the camp was reckless—she was risking it. She was always searching for small victories… but this wasn't a small victory, this was a big victory on her part. She could walk away from him, now without feeling sorry about.

She sighed, throwing a hand up in the air as a symbol for the end of their conversation. "That's exactly what I'm doing." Her feet navigated towards Bellamy's tent, leaving Finn in an even worse mood than her rejection. She opened the flap, slipped in and kicked off her shoes before climbing back in bed with him.

"I didn't think you'd be back." He said sleepily, "But I'm glad you are." His arms wrapped around the high regions of her back, pulling her closer to him. Their noses touched but their eyes remained closed. The only sound besides their low voices was the easy breathing coming from both of their mouths. "You okay?" He asked hesitantly.

"Yeah." She didn't feel like walking him through her conversation because there were things that she said that she wasn't ready for him to hear…

"That's very believable."

Her cold hand rubbed across his face, "It's raining outside."

"I can tell by the way your hair feels." He told her, "How bad do you think it's going to be?"

"I'm not sure yet." She respired, "It means that I'll probably have to camp out in the drop ship until it passes."

Bellamy shifted, "You could stay here."

"And if someone is hurt?" She countered.

She opened her eyes to look at him, "I'm sure the camp will stay away from the rain. They might act like children but they should know better." Bellamy placed a kiss on her jaw before he opened her eyes, "I want you to stay with me."

She didn't know what else to say besides, "Okay." His lips touched hers lightly before they closed their eyes again. This time, sleep took over every sense they had left. Their snoring filling his tent like all the unspoken words they'd accumulated over their course on earth.

It was odd, really, how sleep was coming so easily now when it used to be a battle with her.

XXX

The soft pitter-patter of rain caused Clarke to yawn. She looked over to her right to find Bellamy's back turned away from her. She didn't take it as a sign that he hated her and wanted her out of his tent. He made it clear that he, in fact, wanted her to stay. She sighed and went to put her shoes on. She was quiet while she prepared for another day. As much as she wanted to waste her entire day in Bellamy's tent—she also had a job to do…even if she only planned to put in a few hours before running back to her sweet escape. Clarke stood up, stretching her hands up to touch the top of his tent structure as she yawned. "You wake up too early." Bellamy complained as she reached the exit.

She turned around, "You only say that because you like to sleep." A little smile played across her lips while she resisted the urge to plant multiple kisses across his exposed skin. Bellamy was a seemingly charming creature in the morning. His muscles were relaxed, his jaw not so clenched- he looked normal and slightly peaceful.

"Let them come look for you…" Bellamy said, "Don't leave yet."

"And if I stay…what are you proposing?" He smirked at her words—he knew he had her in his little trap. She wanted it and by the way she bit her lip, he knew she absolutely craved it. If he were an open book- if his face displayed every emotion he had going through his head, she would see that he felt the same way. They stared at each other intensely- trying to see who would make the first move.

They didn't have to because Octavia ran into Bellamy's tent, "It's raining!" She said and then furrowed her eyebrows at Clarke. "Why are you here?" Bellamy and Clarke opened their mouths to explain, but Octavia was quick. "Oh."

"Don't say oh like that." Bellamy said. "It's not an _oh _situation."

"Isn't it?" Clarke asked- now confused about _oh _situations. This was exactly an _oh _situation if _oh _meant they were sleeping together. Bellamy said it himself- this was just sex. They both said it and they both meant it, right? Bellamy looked at her with uncertainty at his previous response. _Shit, _Clarke thought, _Why the fuck is this so hard? Why the fuck is he making this so hard? _"I was just about to leave." She told Octavia before stepping out of tent and walking over to the drop ship.

Octavia looked at Bellamy with crossed arms, "Smooth."

"Shut up."

"No, really smooth Bellamy. What are you doing with Clarke?" Octavia demanded to know, "She's not the average idiot walking around here. She's important. You can't have a one-night stand with someone that's vital to our survival."

"It's not a one-night kind of thing Octavia."

"Well, I think it is now." Octavia snorted, "She was already dressed and everything. She was clearly displeased. Admit you fucked up."

"I didn't fuck up." Bellamy nearly growled, "And it's not a one-night thing because this isn't the first night."

Octavia's face changed completely, "What?"

Bellamy couldn't help but be slightly smug, "Clarke and I have an arrangement."

"Relationship?" Octavia asked. "This is so unreal. You two hate each other."

"Ever heard the saying about thin lines?" Bellamy started to get up, "That sort of wraps this whole thing up with a tight bow. Finn walked in last night like a moron so don't think you're the first to know."

"Finn knows?"

Bellamy nodded.

"He probably hates you." Octavia looked completely satisfied with the entirety of his words. She said that this relationship wasn't believable but it truly was when one evaluated the situation. Her brother wore the face of a different person and she wondered if it was the real Bellamy Blake. Did he normally sport a smile at the mention of Clarke Griffin but conceal it behind his invisible crown and king-of-the-camp mask? "Fucking with his girl and all."

"_She _is _not _his girl." Bellamy said, letting his angry surface.

Octavia put her hands up in defense, "Okay. So what does that make her then? Your girl." Bellamy titled his head to the side and thought about it. He thought about how she said "I'm yours" before… "What are you thinking about?"

"She's mine." Bellamy said letting a small laugh escape his lips, "How unbelievable is that?"

"And she thinks it's just sex?" Octavia giggled, "You're going to have to make a move before it's too late."

Bellamy was ready to face the world, "Who says that isn't the plan?"

In all actuality- there was no plan. There was instinct.


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, so I know a lot of people are really hurt with the fact that Finn is dead but I'm not going to let it disrupt my storyline. Just hold in there with me because I'm going to pretend these last few episodes never happened. That being said, I wanted to say something about the episode in general- I'm obviously a Bellarke shipper but I didn't really want Finn to die- him being alive actually brought more to the Bellarke kingdom because there was a dynamic. Finn's death leaves a lot of unsettled shit in the air- plus, it's going to take Clarke FOREVER to move past this. She won't trust herself- she won't trust others. Really, Bellamy will probably be her shoulder because she needs support. I don't know about Raven- I don't know about Octavia…maybe Lincoln? Either way, I don't expect much more Clarke and Bellamy "MAJOR MOMENTS" until close to the end of the season. **

**Thanks for the reviews. I really appreciate them!**

**-Kay**

Chapter 3:

She felt the weight of the world being washed off her skin as she lingered in the rain longer than she had to outside of Bellamy's tent. She thanked god for no injuries and a quiet camp. She assumed that their people didn't think they needed to get out of bed when Bellamy had made a point of walking outside of his tent for fifteen minutes before retreating back into the almost-waterproof shelter. She stepped in, turning around to close the tent at the bottom with a bobby pin and her hair tie. She wasn't going to have a damn person walking in on them again- that was for sure.

Clarke moved over to Bellamy, positioning herself so she was straddling him and her mouth had uninterrupted access to his. He made a sound when her wet clothes met his chest, "God, you're soaking wet."

"I know." She said seductively- triggering his signature smirk. A small laugh escaped his lips while she pulled off her jacket, letting it hit the floor. He stood, picking her up with him and lightly placing her beneath him. His lips attacked her neck, his hands were in the process of removing any and all clothing off of her. He brought her shirt over her head, maintaining fierce eye contact, and let it fall down next to her jacket with a soggy sound. She didn't realize how cold she was before his hot breath hit her cleavage. She giggled as she pushed his head down against her which caused him to laugh.

"Patience." He teased, "We're taking this slow because we have all day…"

"Or we can make this a multiple time thing." She suggested because she _needed him. _

"It's going to be a multiple time thing anyway, sweetheart." His eyes flickered, "Over and over and over again I'm going to make you...let go." He nearly moaned into her ear. She didn't know how to respond to that. She knew he was completely capable of doing it though- which excited her and scared her at the same time.

Clarke held her breath while he tugged at her pants. Her hand fell into her hair while she thought about the upcoming events. She cursed herself for not realizing how beautiful he was before this. Normally, she would result to the more masculine word- handsome. But, there was something truly _beautiful _about him that couldn't be described using the word handsome. Maybe it was his caramel colored skin or his earthy eyes that made him beautiful- but those were average descriptions of most people. It had to be his jaw, the way it clenched when he was pissed off and unclenched when Octavia did something so _foolish _that he was temporarily shocked into some other veneer. Or it could very well be his lips- the dark pinkish color that enhanced his every word because they were so mesmerizingly gorgeous… the slight trace of hair growth because he couldn't shave that close with what they had lying around might also play into his beauty. Damn, it could also be the freckles- there must at least eighty freckles on his face but Clarke had never taken the time to count them. She concluded that all these things made him physically beautiful. Yet, she found him intoxicatingly emotionally beautiful too.

Because he cared and hid it from the world like it was his private secret and no one could know that he had a heart…unless it was about Octavia. Clarke loved how Bellamy loved Octavia—only because she'd never seen love like that. In all actuality, the only love she'd really ever seen was between her parents and look how that ended. Her mom got her dad floated and sent Clarke to jail. In all actuality, Clarke didn't have the faintest idea what love was- not really. And Bellamy with his resting jackass face and cruel words and rough hands knew undoubtedly what real love was…

She envied him for knowing the beauty of love. She wanted to know what real love felt like- not love that last for moments or love that is temporary- not love that can be cheated on or has to be shared. She wanted to know what _real _love meant. She wanted to know why people desperately tried to find it whether it was because of religion or emotional contact… she wanted to know why men went into battle for women besides the scientific answer- testosterone. She wanted to know the highs and lows of it all. She wanted to feel something besides constant betrayal, anger and sexual satisfaction. Sometimes, she felt so hallow because she lacked what most experienced.

She wanted a flutter.

These were her thoughts while Bellamy kissed down her and rubbed his hand along her leg. "You with me?" He asked her after he noticed there was no reaction from her.

"Yeah." She said as he brought her back to reality. "I was just thinking."

"About?" He asked, sitting beside her until she gave him a sign that she was ready to continue.

"Talking really isn't part of the agreement." She said, her eyes dodging his. Her voice had grown cold with the realization that these nights were only temporary fillings for her hallowed out heart. She could succumb to the warmness of his touch, she could moan his name and promise him a thousand times that she was his… and he could say he was hers when they were caught up in the moment but she didn't know how truthful they were being with each other.

He didn't back down. He wanted her to talk even if she was going to say that she didn't want to do this anymore. "Forget the agreement for a minute and talk to me. _What is wrong_?"

"I'm going to be eighteen soon and I barely have a grasp on reality."

"What the hell are you talking about? You're all about the reality of this planet, Clarke…"

"I don't know anything about love." She said.

Bellamy leaned back against his pillow beside her, "Love isn't part of reality, Clarke. It's on a completely different level." He turned on his side to look at her better. "Why the sudden thought of love? You falling for me Griffin?"

"In your dreams." Bellamy's mind drifted back to his dream he had the night before. In his dream, she was definitely in love with him. She, on the other hand, was referring to his dreams from the night before last. "I'm not falling for you, but I would like to fall for someone."

"Someone…hmm? Your choices are pretty slim. I'm sure Jasper-"

"Don't even go there." Clarke's hand meant to push at his face but instead her hand stuck to his skin unwilling to move. Her fingers lightly traced over his cheek bone while he closed his eyes and moved into her touch. "Does it ever scare you that this could all be gone in an instant?"

"I wouldn't let it happen in an instant." Bellamy informed her. "I don't think you would either."

"So a slow and painful end- you want to put that in the agreement?" She cracked a small smile.

"Certainly do. Its how we'll test the worthiness of the person you're trying to leave me for." Bellamy was smiling too against her hand. He kissed her palm before placing her hand on her lap. "Of course, I don't think he could ever do it the way I do it."

"Who said I'll leave you for a guy?"

Bellamy looked at her with squinted eyes, "You're a tease, Clarke. A real fucking tease."

"Now why would you ever say that?" Clarke said, tangling her fingers in his curls. He groaned when she yanked.

"That's why." He told her, "Because you are this girl who knows how to get the right reaction out of me when you want it without much practice and it's completely annoying and exhilarating at the same time." She mounted him, her bare legs on either side of his exposed abdomen. His hand fell upon her calf while she leaned down and kissed him gingerly. Her lips parted and their passion shifted away from conversation. His hand relocated to the small of her back, his fingers pressing into her skin when her lips moved from his to his neck. She used her tongue to kiss at spots on his neck, then down his chest. He looked down at her while she felt his hand grip his wrist- one finger extended upward to his palm. He thought he would remember the strength behind her constraint on him forever.

She came up for air and looked at him with tempting eyes. She was daring him to make the next move—and he wasn't not going to accept her dare. He flipped her over for the second time and pulled her leg up around him. She felt herself get lost under his easy touches around her back, up her arms, down her stomach. His teeth nipped at the skin right above her black bra. "I'm the tease, okay." She panted when he pushed down onto her in a slow grinding motion. He unbuttoned his pants, "What happened to taking it slow, hmm?"

"Maybe I liked your idea better." He said.

Clarke smirked, "I need a recording device."

"Me too." He said when he was naked against her leg. He was diamond hard which is the way she liked him.

"I don't think I'm in the mood anymore." She said dismissively but she couldn't conceal her smile.

"That's not even funny." He growled in her ear as one hand worked to remove her remaining clothes. She helped after she decided he was taking too long. Her underwear fell down her leg and tangled in her toes a little before she kicked them off the bed completely. He removed her bra and grazed his lips down her bust until he triggered a small moan which she pulled herself back from making into a very loud one. "Resisting your urges won't do you any favors." He nearly whispered, distracted by how amazing she always seemed to look in the moment before he closed the small space between them. It was her eyes- those blue orbs that let every emotion in and reflected everything he _needed _to see and everything that _hadn't _been said. "You're stunning." He let his thoughts slip out of his mouth.

She reddened, "Thank you." Her voice was low as she anticipated the pleasure he was about to give her. She nodded as a way to tell him she was ready. His lips crashed into hers while his body slammed into her. She gasped with tightly closed eyes, their foreheads pressed together- lips only a millimeter apart. He felt the way his body caressed hers as he moved in and out of her time after time. The melody of her moans caused him to reach and put his arm above her head. His position allowed him to angle his cock for deeper penetration. She crumbled beneath him, her hands grasping his shoulders and sliding down to his faint abs. He groaned when her leg wrapped around the back of his knee.

"Clarke" He panted when her nails moved to his back, digging into his skin as he quickened. He went down on her, causing her to throw her head deeper into his bed as she became louder. He thought she was going to draw blood from how hard she was pressing her nails into him. Her breathing was ragged and he knew she was close. Her leg started to drift down his leg when his hand moved back to her lower back. Her hand returned from his back, going up his hair until he was positive it was sticking up in multiple directions.

A wave a hot tingling feelings hit her when he started going faster in her. She couldn't stop it- she couldn't suppress it- she didn't want to. She let her orgasm wash over her like the rain from earlier, a light cry pushing through her lips. Bellamy continued to grind into her, kissing down her skin- tasting her sweat and marveling in her post-orgasmic nature. He followed soon after.

Once he was off her, she rolled over on her stomach. His hand massaged her back while she closed her eyes and buried her face into his pillow. "I'm yours." He said breathlessly.

"I'm yours." She said in the same breathless manner.

XXX

They didn't go all night like planned but somehow, he found that the night had gone better than he thought it would. Her naked curves pressed against him as she slept. The way her leg rested in between his or how her hand rested flatly against his chest made it intimate but for a thousand different reason other than sex.

This wasn't just sex.

_This _happened to be two people who enjoyed each other's company in an embrace that went beyond sex.

Clarke knew that.

Bellamy knew that.

It fell under the category of unspoken things they didn't know how to say.


	4. Chapter 4

"_If I'm your girl say my name boy_

_Let me know I'm in control_

_We both grown so how we feel we can let it show"_

Chapter 4:

A rough jolt woke her from her blissful slumber, her dreams filled with the rough pants and ecstasy. Her eyes slowly opened to take in Bellamy's naked form. He inhaled. He exhaled. She thought he was fascinating—that level of peacefulness across his normally hard features. She realized after a moment of ogling, it wasn't him. The smile that formed on her face had not yet disappeared, though. Her shoulders were yanked again by tiny damp hands. Her bare skin was tickled by the panther fur as she turned her body, hugging the blanket to her breasts. "I need your help." Octavia whispered—small tears in her eyes, "Get dressed and meet me by the gate." Her voice was an indication of her worry, her grief.

Clarke stole a glance, sucking in a nervous breath before she threw the blanket off her body. Pure, fear pulsed through Clarke's system because she was absolutely certain someone was seriously injured. She was quite certain that person was not a member of their camp, either. Clarke pulled her clothes off the ground, noting the dampness of the fabric. She rolled her eyes at her makeshift lock that laid disassembled on the ground.

She bitterly thought, _No privacy whatsoever. _

Her eyes examined the guard posts—they were asleep. She snorted, more out of fear and anger than actual humor. They would all be dead…they could be under attack right now and _no one _would know. She thought about leaving a note for Bellamy but her lack of pencils and paper came into play and she hoped she would return before he woke up. What would Bellamy do if he woke up and she weren't pressed into his side, her hand running down his shoulder blades with a satisfied smile on her lips? He would freak out. "Tell me who it is? Is it your grounder…? Octavia, speak!"

"It's Lincoln's uncle…Clarke, it's really bad." She sniffled, her hand swiping away overwhelming tears.

"I need to get my-" Clarke twisted her body, attempting to turn around towards the drop ship to grab some type of meager supplies.

"You can't, we don't have time." Octavia gripped Clarke's wrist, refusing to release it. Her eyes relayed the message that she was not going to let Clarke go _anywhere. _

"I'm useless without my supplies, Octavia." Clarke explained, her low leader voice coming forward. She cared for her friend…immensely so, but she could not perform miracles. Situations like these made her doubt her abilities.

"They have supplies." Octavia was crying like a scared child, "They just need your mind." _And what if my mind is not good enough?_

Clarke nodded hesitantly after a few seconds, her lip coming between her teeth as she began to follow Octavia. At first, it was a fast walk but as they neared the grounder village (or so Clarke assumed) Octavia started to run. Clarke followed partly because she did not want to be alone in their territory, partly because she felt the need to _protect _Octavia.

Branches flew against their bodies, cutting quickly into their skin as they continued to run. Octavia did not pause once they reached a ditch-entrance. Clarke couldn't afford to pause to take in the area. She could only run after Bellamy's sister and pray to god they weren't about to walk into their death. If anything happened to Octavia…

It would be Clarke's fault.

Clarke cared for Octavia. She liked her. Octavia's free spirit was something she admired but her _recklessness _was absolutely appalling. What was she doing out of the gate in the first place? If Bellamy knew about his sister's late night activities, he would kill her. He would also attempt to kill the grounder that Octavia was preoccupied with. "Bellamy's going to kick our asses, you know that right?" Clarke asked Octavia, her breathless voice being drowned out by the sound of drums. Her heartbeat quickened because she felt the music overtake her ears—overtake her every sense. She forgot how to speak for a moment, how to breathe.

The grounder village was remarkable but still dark—dark, tainted by the rugged beauty of survival. It was also tattered but Clarke was used to tatters and holes from her time on the Ark. Her eyes touched each visible hut, took in the size of them and also the way the grounders built off of former structures. _Is that a gym? _Her eyes washed over the broken bricks and wood roof tied together by ropes and some other unifiers that she'd never seen before. It was fascinating to her, the buildings and permanence of their _lifestyle. _

"He's here." Octavia motioned for her to follow, pulling back the flap to a hut made out of sewn animal skins. A rugged man met her eyes, his wrinkles pushing together because of pain and obvious outrage. He turned to Lincoln, barking something in their language. Lincoln responded, seemingly unashamed that Clarke and Octavia stood before them. The man was bleeding profusely, an arrow sticking from his side. _They should be able to fix this… _Clarke thought, remembering they'd survived for almost a hundred years with crude weapons. "Their healer is not…around." Octavia read her face, "Clarke, please save him."

She let out a long breath and looked between Lincoln, Octavia, and the angry grounder. "It's going to be a long night." She huffed, her eyes finally settling on her angry patient. "Hold him down." She said in a determined tone. The grounder flung around, his arms trying to swing at her but he was too injured to truly hurt her underneath Lincoln's hold.

XXX

The sun was high in the sky, the afternoon pouring down on Clarke's dirty, fair skin. Octavia groaned at the sight of the gate, her mouth opening in protest. If Clarke heard Octavia proposition staying in a bunker until Bellamy's mood switched from angry to simply "relieved we're alive" again, she would choke her. She felt as if the sun were going to cause her to turn bright pink but she was highly satisfied the rain ceased although the mud continued to be a problem. Her body was touched by dirt, smeared with blood—some her own, some Lincoln's uncle who eventually told her was named Roosevelt. Clarke liked their political names, it was quite profound how they valued great leaders and continued to use their names as if a birthright. It made her wonder, really, about what they hoped for Lincoln.

And what did that mean for Octavia? The story of Romeo and Juliet fluttered through her mind for a brief moment but Octavia's loud sigh brought Clarke back to reality. "As you stated all those hours ago, we are in a lot of trouble. What better way to evade than postpone?"

Clarke was exhausted, she truly only wanted to feel the ground beneath her face. The cool nature of dirt, hopefully soothing her in the process. Her hand shook in her pocket as she walked towards the gate. "I want to sleep, Octavia." Clarke told her, "And I'm certain they've seen us now."

Octavia let another sound of discontent fall from her mouth before two guns stopped them, "I know we're filthy, but you can't be so blind that you do not recognize us." Clarke and Octavia exchanged smug looks before proceeding through the gates. It was like a stack of bricks, the pressure of dealing with Bellamy, weighing on her chest. Their sexual relationship did not give her a pardon from his uncontrollable wrath. He would blame _her… _and part of her knew if something would have happened in the grounder village, it would have been her fault. She could have prevented Octavia from leaving, she could have dragged her palm across Bellamy's chest and told him of his sister's plans. They could have handled it _together. _

Her only regret was Octavia—she did not regret the events of her night, not a single event. She did not regret saving Roosevelt's life as she did not regret her passionate moment with Bellamy beforehand. Although, she could retract her earlier statement about only regretting Octavia if the subject of her new modification arose in conversation. There was a dull pain in her side, it'd been there for hours although it could not be compared to the searing pain over her eyebrow from the Commander's symbolic slice.

Lexa, that was the brave leader's name, introduced Clarke to grounder tradition. Clarke bowed before her, more in a sacramental way rather than a sign of weakness and let the sharp blade dive into her skin. The entire time, she thought of only the people—only the causalities since their arrival on earth as she agreed to a treaty without her partners help. It was done in almost an instant but the pain and the blood lasted until Lexa stitched the wound. It was supposed to represent tying the knots of their treaty but Clarke felt jilted when she did not get to return the _favor. _She assumed they were finished but she was _wrong. _A skinny man, thin and burly moved over to her with a sharpened, thin knife and declared it was time for her to "earn" her mark because she was seemingly "blessed." She was too tired to debate what his words meant. Either way, the treaty and her "blessed" appearance was how Clarke ended up with the lasting pain in her side and fabric sticking to an inky design mixed with blood. She imagined her appearance did not look blessed at all…

Her eyes flitted towards her companion, taking in her stressed features and blackened legs. Dirt extended over her elbows and across her shirt as well as blood that did not belong to her. Octavia was exhausted, the flutter of her eyes touching her sullied cheeks. Octavia was a fighter and Clarke noted she would do well to never forget her determination.

To her surprise, Raven was the first to approach them. Her dark hair in a messy braid while her eyes were dashed with fear and slight stress. Clarke questioned why Raven looked that way…was she friends with Octavia? Or did her worry extend to Clarke? Much like anything currently going on around camp, Clarke did not wish to harbor on it. The concern in Raven's eyes contrasted with the words that she casted towards the two girls, "Where the fuck did you two go?" She stepped back, her eyes washing over them to finally take in their appearance. "What in hell happened to you…is that your blood?" She shook her head, "Of course not…whose blood?" She reached forward to touch the red stain on Clarke's shirt, but Octavia cleared her through mid-motion causing Raven to pause.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you…" Octavia smirked, "Clarke's a badass now…"

Clarke frowned, "I am far from a badass. I did what anyone else would do in my situation." She was not being honest with herself because she could not name one person that would run through the forest for the grounders or get a tattoo in the name of peace or bow before the commander as a sign of respect. "We are at peace for now—" She stopped speaking to pull up her shirt to show Raven rather than wasting her small amount of energy on words.

"A tattoo?" Raven's stunned question caused Octavia's smug smile to widen. Raven stepped forward, her fingers extending to touch the mark but she stopped. "No fucking way this is real." She inspected her side, observing the blood mixed with the bold black. "Damn." A Polynesian sparrow extended from the edge of Clarke's breast almost to her hip bone. "Damn…at least it looks—cool, really." Why was Raven being so _different? _

"It's for peace." Clarke said grumpily, shifting awkwardly as discomfort rested across her skin. "Not to look…not to be cool." She settled the hem of her shirt over her jeans, a little hiss moving through her lips as the fabric rejoined her skin. Octavia began walking towards her tent, her adrenaline failing her as conversation faltered. Clarke fell into step behind Octavia out of a merciless habit she gained from the night. Her people were giving the two girls sympathetic looks that said "Nice knowing you…" but Clarke never blinked in their direction, she never showed fear. It could have been that Bellamy didn't scare her or the fact she was too tired to be scared… or even that the last few hours had been so scary—so tormenting that nothing else could phase her the way recent events had.

She heard the clattering of footsteps approaching them, her head counting them out. She knew two people were approaching her. She knew one of them happened to be extremely lightweight. Her eyes moved to address the people coming towards her to meet Jasper's relieved smile and Finn's tentative look. Her mouth opened at the sight of Finn, her heart begging her to apologize to him for the sake of their former friendship. Her head disagreed. Jasper was the first to speak, his hand covering his heart as he glanced at Octavia. He appeared breathless, as if the world had been off its axis and now it'd returned and he'd forgotten how to breathe. "You didn't get kidnaped from your tents?" He said with his hand over his heart, slight tears forming in his eyes. "I—we thought you'd be kidnaped for sure."

"Clearly." Octavia grumbled but managed to flash Jasper a friendly smile. Clarke compared him to Paris—the friend of Juliet's that wished to call her his own but would never…hopefully, Lincoln and Octavia would not end up as doomed as Romeo and Juliet. She felt bad for Jasper—"We're fine. We're alive, we're breathing—hell we're more than fine, right Clarke?" Octavia slammed her opened palm into Clarke's back and giggled at Clarke bit into her lips to suppress a small objection.

Clarke groaned as she looked at the crowd around her, "I just want to sleep." They let out small laughs as Octavia went on to over exaggerate their adventurous night with sound effects and hand motions. Eventually, the entire group found themselves in front of Octavia's parachute crafted tent. Clarke thought to herself that it would be more accurate to call Octavia princess rather than her, being the _King's _sister and all. Although, Clarke was getting comfortable with the nickname as long as it fell from Bellamy's mouth during the throes of passion or in an attempt for passion.

Jasper and Raven sucked in deep breaths, their eyes falling to the ground as the muttered "See you later…" and "Your king, ladies and gentlemen"—Clarke regretted not being able to pinpoint who said what but she was highly distracted with thoughts she should not be having in the moment_. _Finn remained for a second too long, meeting Clarke's eyes in a begging manner. She shook her head back and forth, rejecting his wants once more. He needed to _understand _that she did not want him and she would never want him again. Finn stepped away, clearly upset by her lack of apologetic nature. She sucked in a breath and turned to Octavia, "By the expression on his face, he's going to try to be witty."

Octavia tried to conceal a laugh when Bellamy's opening argument followed Clarke's observation. "Rough night?" He asked sarcastically but the anger pooled behind his words like venom. "Where were you two?" He was trying to hide his concern, his worry, and the other emotions that swelled in his chest. She wanted to lie to him so he did not have to feel the momentary pain her answer would cause him.

Octavia shoved Clarke forward, though, like a sacrificial lamb to the hungry lion. She steeled herself, running her hands down her shirt to smooth it out before she lifted her chin and replied. "Grounder village." Her eyes were wide, her breathing labored as she read him. Anger. Worry. Betrayal. Hurt. She watched every emotion consume his brown eyes before she spoke again. "We're alive, Bellamy." Her statement was much softer than before. "I understand that you are ang—"

"A fucking grounder village?" He finally regained himself, his chest becoming tighter and more defined beneath his dark colored shirt. He pointed a finger at her and spoke with a fury that she could not compare to their recent fights. "Are you fucking stupid, Clarke? _You_ went to a goddamn grounder village in the middle of the night, to what? Get hit over the head…" He turned his face away from her, palling his hand into a fist as he faltered. She watched him inhale and promptly exhale three times before he finished. "Irresponsible is one of the words coming to mind right now…" She could not overlook the softness of his words although she desperately wanted to…

She was reminded of the fact that she had feelings for him—feelings she did not want to have and…and he had those feelings as well. _Get a grip…dammit, Clarke. Do. Not. Do. This. _

"Jackass is coming to my mind." Octavia said, purposely trying to fire her brother up for her own amusement. Bellamy's eyes darkened as he turned to his sister. "What about you, Clarke, do you think jackass fits?" Her voice was cloudy as Bellamy stepped forward threateningly, "Bellamy, you do _not _scare me."

Clarke interjected, "Bellamy, Octavia…please, let's focus on what is really important." Octavia stepped back, her eyes telling Bellamy that she was not surrendering because he was in charge but because Clarke had something important to say. "Although, I won't lie and say that we departed this camp with starry-eyed dreams of peace but we have returned with it." A small smile played on her lips as she informed Bellamy of their newfound relationship with the grounders.

"You're a damn fool." Bellamy shook his head, agitated. "We're supposed to be partners, Clarke…we're supposed to do things _together._"

She furrowed her eyebrows, "I thought you would be pleased that our people will no longer be tormented by a possible attack. I would apologize if I regretted it for a moment but I do not. I did what I thought was best…for everyone."

"Please do not come at me with this holier-than-thou routine, Clarke. We both know you are not innocent." Octavia opened her mouth to say something against her brother's angry words but decided to step into her tent instead. He stood there, looking at her with a mixture of anger and desire. "Why did you leave?"

"It wasn't about you." She said with a frown, "Don't make this about you…"

"I'm making it about you and me. Our partnership…our relationship. Trust, Clarke. I should be able to trust that you will come to me with your problems and not sneak away in the middle of the fucking night with my sister—my sister, dammit!" He paused before he moved closer to her, "Do you not understand what you do to me, Clarke? How I have been going out of my mind since I discovered you were not by my side? And my sister…my sister…you left with my sister."

She exhaled, "Lincoln's uncle was dying, and their healer was not there to save him. Octavia came to me. Do you think I did not want to wake you up? I did. I saw you…" She shook her head, "But you would have prevented it. We did well, Bellamy, this is a good thing."

"Somewhere, I know that it is…but it doesn't mean I am happy with it, with your choices." He stepped away, looking around to see if they'd caught any attention. Of course, they had. "We can talk later, I have work to do. You should sleep because I'm certain you will be awake all night."

XXX

The small yawn echoed throughout her tent as she stretched her arms forward, arching her back in the process. Her fading shadow against the walls of her tent told her that it was late evening, the sky had turned a darkish blue and her smile touched her features as she thought about Bellamy's words. She felt the sting of her tattoo but she ignored it as she reached for her muddy boots. At least she had enough sense to clear herself before going to bed. Her stomach growled, reminding her that she hadn't eaten in hours.

She craved his touch but she knew she had duties in camp that could not be ignored because she was under his spell. Clarke headed towards the drop ship, running directly into Monty. He smiled, "There you are. I was about to search you out. I've manufactured something quite spectacular for your…you know."

Clarke's lips turned up, "Tattoo." She nodded, "Thank you, Monty. Uh…hey, do you know anything about construction?"

"Basics, why?"

She shrugged, "I wanted to run something by you along the lines of building huts and things for permanent settlement." Monty's face could only be described as shocked and slightly confused with her statement. She gave him a moment to form words.

"You don't want to wait on the Ark? They are far more educated…"

She shook her head, "I don't think we'll be needing people that have studied survival in theory…we have people that have survived. I'm heading towards the drop ship now, would you like to hear about my findings?"

He hesitated before nodding in the affirmative.

Clarke stole a glance towards Bellamy's tent, meeting his welcoming eyes. She winked and he returned her wink.

XXX

After discussing her findings with Monty, Clarke longed for something increasingly less boring—more specifically, Bellamy. They were not prepared to build at the moment but it would be an issue she pressed. She had doubts when it came to the intentions of the Ark and she would make sure her people were s_afe. _She would make sure her people s_urvived. _ She knew that Bellamy would have to approve the plans before she started barking orders but this was something they _needed _to do…but he was right, before, when he said they needed to trust one another. She would not make another move without his agreement and support.

Bellamy was a sight for sore, restless eyes. He was shirtless, a normalcy she was used to, and absolutely alluring. "Are you ready to accept your punishment?" He asked, his pupils obviously dilated with anticipation for her. It was nice to feel wanted, nice to feel desired by any man…but it was gloriously impeccable to be _wanted _by him.

"I cannot truthfully say that it has not been the subject of my thoughts and dreams all day." A faint blush touched her cheeks as she looked over the ripple of his skin and his relaxed muscles. "But, before you launch into your plans, tell me about your day. Good?" She stood near the entrance of his tent, tempted by him but willing to wait—willing to make him wait so she would have slight control of his lust, if any.

His fingertips played with the panther fur as he looked at her with hooded eyes, "Progressively getting better, princess." She hesitated before taking a single step closer to him. He smirked, "The rumors are flying, lover...about your treaty. All due to my sister, that is. Morale is better. I've accepted your choice." He beckoned for her to come to his bed but she did not. He looked like he was deep in thought—trying to figure out what to say next. He whispered—sounding like he was begging, "Don't ever do that again, Clarke. You were right next to me and I didn't even know you were gone until morning…"

"I'm sorry that I scared you, I'm not sorry I left. I was out of it earlier so I know my announcement wasn't exactly clear but I'm telling you now that it's the best plausible scenario for survival. I know you don't make peace with your friends but I feel like we can make friends in their community. I like the thought of having friends in the community, at least. I don't want to lose anyone else…I don't want to stitch someone up because they've been hit by a spear or worse. I want to focus on the possibility of settlement. I mean, do we want to be here forever or do we want to search for a different area? And what happens when everyone else comes down, hmm? Are we going to extend our peace to them or—" Clarke knew she was talking too much but she couldn't stop. "With this treaty, we have to start thinking about next week—not just tomorrow."

"Do you really believe that or are you trying to convince yourself?" He asked, his hand extending to her. She refused once more, causing him to smirk. "Princess, you're being cruel."

She shook her head, "I think I want to punish you before you punish me. All of these thoughts running through my head for hours, driving me insane…torture, really." Her fingers played with the fabric of her shirt before she pulled it over her head, her delicate curls falling down her back as she turned her eyes on him.

He smirked wider, a chuckle escaping his lips before his tongue darted out to wet them. "I want you, Clarke." He told her, "I need you. Princess, please put me out of my misery. Be the good doctor, prescribe me my medicine and let me take it."

"Take me, you mean?" Clarke crossed the tent quickly, her legs crossing over his body as he leaned forward to meet her. Their chests were pressed together and his breathing changed dramatically. "Take me…"

His fingertips trailed across the welted skin, causing her to hiss. Despite the look in her eyes, he continued to move his hand down the tattoo. Her lips parted because he knew what he was doing—he knew that she was getting off on the pain and pleasure combination. Of course Clarke was the type that liked the excitement. He could not complain, he enjoyed her reaction—enjoyed the pain as well. "It's beautiful." He said softly, watching her eyes flickering back and forth between his brown orbs and his ready lips.

"It's nothing but a confirmation of our treaty." Clarke said, her palm reaching to touch his cheek. He moved his face into her touch before she cleared her throat as she fought for control of her libido. "I may have helped design it…you know how I like having control."

"You designed this?" Her marveled before the rest of her statement settled in his ears, "Oh princess…I know."

"I altered it." She repeated, "Like I said, it's nothing more but a confirmation of our treaty with our neighbors." A knowing smile graced her lips, "Does it turn you on?"

He nodded, licking his lips once more before he pressed his lips to hers. He pushed his tongue in her mouth, his hand moving up to tangle in her hair to keep her in place while his other brushed across the tattoo. "Very." He purred as he broke their kiss, "Although, I imagine my arousal for your tattoo would lessen if my sister was sporting the same mark…"

Clarke smiled before pressing another kiss to his lips, "She begged. They denied her. Your sister was highly distraught."

"Why did they deny her?" Bellamy snorted, "She can be highly convincing…"

"Because they were adamant that she was not a woman yet... I don't know what defines womanhood in their culture but Octavia and I are only a few months apart."

"Maybe it's because Octavia's a virgin." Bellamy said, satisfied that his sister was proclaimed as a girl. Clarke had to look away from him for a moment because she was positive Octavia was no longer a virgin. She was even more positive that Lincoln's village knew this information. "It probably doesn't help that you reeked of sex…covered in marks and bites, hair tangled by desire…"

Clarke raised an eyebrow, "That makes you happy…the grounders knowing I belong to someone." She pressed a chaste kiss against the corner of his mouth. "That I am yours?" His breathing hitched as she brought their passion-filled promises into their intimate conversation.

"Yes." He buried his face into her neck, "It makes me extremely happy, princess. Do you want me to show you how happy it makes me? Do you want what I have promised you?"

"How could it be punishment if I want it…if I love it?" She batted her lashes, "Suddenly feel as if I'm wearing too many clothes."

"I agree." Bellamy's hand rested on her shoulder, "You know I wouldn't hurt you, right? That this is only a game…"

"Yes." She said, "Now please just give me what I want."

"Always." Bellamy kissed down her neck, his hands moving up and down her back. "And tomorrow, I'm not letting you leave this bed."

She pulled back, laughing. "I have to meet with the grounders tomorrow. Maybe the next day?" Her nonchalant attitude about her schedule caused his eyebrows to furrow. "Lincoln, the grounder we—uh…yeah, he will be there. Don't worry."

Bellamy raised himself, "Hold on, Princess…You are not going to be meeting with Lincoln tomorrow. No way. Simply forget it." She pulled away from him until she was beside him rather than on him. He looked over at her and scoffed, "You're upset that I want to protect you?" She dragged a hand down his bare chest, using her fingernails in the process. He tightened under her touch and she smiled. She moved her hand down his stomach, down to his growing erection. "This your new tactic?" He breathed heavily, watching her tease him with electric eyes. He attempted to touch her, but she grabbed his wrist firmly. "Okay, message received." He said huskily, his head falling into the pillow as her hands moved between the fabric of his jeans and his bare skin. Her soft hand resting on his hard member. He bit his tongue to contain himself.

"I'm going to meet with the grounders tomorrow." She told him in a serious tone, "Say it, say Clarke—princess, you can meet with the grounders tomorrow."

"And if I don't?" She removed her hand from him.

"Then you will sleep by yourself until I get my way and Bellamy…and I will make sure you sleep alone." She moved over him, holding both his wrists above his head. "Because you are mine." He was growing restless under her touch and he knew that he could easily flip them but he didn't want to interrupt her. This was true torture, but torture that he was willing to accept. "Just say it…say I can go." Her low, sultry voice made him shut his eyes.

"Clarke…" He groaned, "There is no fucking way I'm letting you go and meet with the grounders. I don't care if you never have sex with me again—your life is more important." She released his wrists, only to make him groan again when she unbuttoned his pants and yanked them down his legs. "Fuck me." He said, annoyed that she was making this so difficult. Why couldn't she understand how important her life was to him?

"Say the magic words and I will..." She said, "I can compromise_, baby_. I'll only meet with Lincoln…" She said mockingly, using his term of endearment. She moved against him, grinding hard. "I'll let you put my knees to my chest like the other night…" Could he even be more turned on? He kept feeling his arousal heightened. "And oh…what my mouth will do to you—you just have to say I can see Lincoln."

Her mouth met his Adam's apple, dragging her sharp tongue across his skin until she started sucking. He moved his hands to her back, rubbing her skin with his calloused hands. "Babbby…" He groaned loudly when she started slipping down his body, slipping out of his grip. She rolled the elastic down on his boxers at a slow pace but stopped to look at him. "No." He told her as a response to the question in her eyes. She continued to roll the fabric down, unaware of how fast his heart was beating. He was aware that Clarke was true to her word, she was going to leave him alone if he did not agree. She made him weak—so weak that he whispered in the lowest voice. "Only Lincoln?"

"Only Lincoln." She smiled before kissing down the V. With a swift tug and a wide grin, he was completely naked. Her thumb moved over the tip of him, her mouth moving closer to his throbbing erection. "That's a yes, right?"

"Right." He said, his body pushing up to her. He wanted her so badly, it hurt. She moved her tongue, trailing up his base, eliciting a moan from him. "Damn…" He felt the heat of her mouth consume him, her tongue massaging him as if she'd done it a thousand times. Such a perfectionist, she was. Such a fast learner… She made eye contact with him, watching his face take in her temptress skills. He moaned her name, called to her until she released him, kissing down his shaft before she stood up to take off her pants. He watched her undress, eyes taking in her body like a camera. He watched as she let her underwear slide down her legs, keeping eye contact with him until a girlish giggle pulled through her lips. He smiled at her, "You're beautiful." He loved her ivory skin, stained with love marks and a hot blush. He'd always seen her underneath him, never witnessing her lovely beauty for everything it happened to be.

And her tattoo…

God, he couldn't even describe what her tattoo meant to him.

She kissed him, her passion for him engulfing her entire heart like a flame. She eased herself down on him, joining her body to him. A harsh rush of breath breaking through her lips, "Okay, princess?" He asked, blinking once while he met her gaze. They held eye contact, unable to pry away from the raw emotion that reflected between them. There was the obvious pleasure, the slight nervousness, maybe a little exhaustion—much excitement. The sensual rhythm, the tantalizingly pleasurable pace causing multiple sounds escape his lips. As well as a few choice words, "Fuck…" He said while his heartbeat became the only thing he could hear. She whimpered when she pushed down on him again, holding her position for a few seconds. "Oh fucking god..."

"Say my name…" She moaned, throwing her head back into his hold on her neck. "Ah…please." She threw her head back when he pushed hard up into her. His head moved down to kiss her breast, to suck on her skin while she started to pant.

"Clarke." He said in her ear, "Baby, Princess… I will say your name over and over for the rest of my life." His heavy kisses trailed down her body as she let his arms wrapped around her back. His rhythm calculated and all his own as he pushed into her over and over again. She closed her eyes tightly, letting him _take her. _She could feel her orgasm boiling in her stomach. Part of her wanted to cry out but she knew the camp was not ready for that—so, she moaned his name repeatedly. She panted, her head facing the top of his tent while he took her nipple in his mouth.

There was no soft crashing waves—no time for a slow and romantic finish. Her orgasm hit her violently. She felt like she was falling…falling over and over again, for him, for everything as he continued to thrust into her. There weren't tears but she practically cried his name out. Her head falling on his shoulder, her sweat dripping on his skin. He knew by the way she fell on him that she was done—spent. He came easily in her after she let herself go. Her heartbeat was strong against his chest. He brushed her hair over her shoulder, his fingers trailing down her back to her the curve of her skin. His swollen lips connected with her shoulder, hearing her hum in response.

"You were so good, baby…you were so good…" He mused, his fingers coming back to play with the ends of her hair. They stayed in that position for a long time, the vibration of her lips informing him that she was enjoying the moment. "I thought you were going to cry, princess…" He could not hide the smugness in his voice.

"I was very satisfied with you, too." Clarke told him as she unwrapped her legs from around him so she could fall next to him. He covered her skin, watching her tuck her hand underneath her head. "That was…"

"At a loss of words?" He chuckled, reading the expression on her face. She was being bashful, almost modest in her behavior. "You are the most beautiful person I've ever laid my eyes on, Clarke…"

"Bellamy…" Clarke breathed. "Do you really mean it when you say things like that? Or is it just part of this…thing? The buildup…the thrill?"

"I mean every word, Clarke. I mean it when I say I'm yours… you have to know that…I'm yours."

"I mean it too, Bellamy." Clarke said after a few seconds, "And if that's what we mean why are we saying this is just sex?"

"We haven't said it today." Bellamy pointed out, "We're evolving. This relationship is evolving like everything else around us…I doubt there is anything we can do about it."

"Are you suggesting we give into…whatever this is?"

"I'm not an idiot. I'm not going to pretend that I deserve you but I want you… When I think about the future I want you by my side, you said we have to start thinking about next week and I want you next week… and the week after that…it just makes sense."

"That's a yes, then?" She mocked him, her fingers twisting together. "How do we make this work? We hardly get along on good days…fighting is a constant thing with us."

"I don't have a good answer for that." He said, "I imagine we continue to do it the way we've been doing it."

"I could be convinced." Clarke giggled, placing a kiss on his chest. "Especially if you can be convinced to go another round…"

"Oh, I think I can be _easily _convinced."

XXX

Clarke smirked at Bellamy from across camp as she shifted her bag across her back. She winked at him when they met each other's eyes, a wink he returned with a cheeky smile. He looked back at Miller only to meet her eyes again with the same smile. "That's disgusting." Octavia came up behind her, pointing at her brother who promptly looked away from them to actually talk to Miller. _Sissy, _Clarke thought. "And _so _against your little sex pact." Clarke took notice of the fading green around her as the weather started to shift. "You two are ridiculous."

"No longer a sex pact." Clarke smiled widely, "We're together. He is mine." She grabbed Octavia by her elbow and led her into the drop ship, continuing to smile.

"Holy shit!" Octavia clapped her hands, "I expected this but I thought there'd be some major meltdown before it really happened." She gripped Clarke's hands and started to gush with excitement, "Welcome to the family."

"A few hours together and I'm part of the family…" Clarke said, eyebrows raised at the mere thought of being in a family. "I think it's a little too soon for that."

"Oh, no…you and Bell are never going to break up. You both are too stubborn to let it end." Octavia pointed out and Clarke couldn't help but agree. "Speaking of relationships, when are we going to meet with Lincoln's people?"

"Today, it'll have to be just Lincoln." Clarke frowned slightly, thinking that she needed to up her game when it came to convincing him of things. "We came to an agreement last night that it'd be just Lincoln for now." Octavia was upset because she wanted her brother to trust the grounders the way she trusted them. "What did you expect, O? He's not going to be their best friends right away, he's hesitant."

"You could have tried to convince him." Octavia scoffed, "I imagine you have a specific leverage skill that can make him do things he normally wouldn't."

Clarke rolled her eyes, "That was me using my specific leverage skills. He won't budge, Octavia. At least you can see your boyfriend."

XXX

Clarke and Octavia walked down a worn forest path near the grounder village until Lincoln appeared. "How are you today?" He asked Clarke, a soft smile on her lips. She told him that she couldn't be better. They talked about the treaty and territorial lines for a good bit until Clarke decided to give Lincoln and Octavia their alone time. She walked over to a large rock and sat down. It was the first time that she could truly relax since landing. No one was going to throw a spear at her. No one was going to shoot her with an arrow. She could take in the scenes that surrounded her.

The way birds swooped down into the water and grabbed fish. The sound of leaves falling down to the ground after large gusts of wind. The bickering between unknown animals around her. She was amazed at everything that made Earth—well, Earth. And then she thought of how cruel people destroyed it. She thought of the poison that filled the skies as bombs were dropped for the sole purpose of killing the human race.

Yet, according to Earth Studies… humans had a long past of destroying Earth. There was pollution, war, political battles and economic failure. There were people killing innocents because they didn't agree with their religion or sexual orientation. How selfish could people be? To kill because of miniscule things such as culture?

Her head tilted towards the sky, letting the rays' blast down on her face. She contemplated the universe… how she'd lived in space her entire life and at a young age- she didn't know any different. She didn't know how the wind could push through every pore and send a shiver up your spine. She'd only known one temperature before Earth.

There was so much she didn't know before Earth. She didn't know what real air felt like when it slipped in through her respiratory system. She didn't know what a man's touch felt like…like the way Bellamy touched her. She didn't know how the rustle of leaves sounded or how a soft moan could make her skin crawl with desire.

Before earth, she was angry. After earth, she was angrier because she knew- god, she knew too much to ever not be angry with her former home and the people that locked her away. She was pissed her dad got floated- now she was pissed that her mom was behind it. She was pissed that she was going to die- now she was pissed her mom sent her to die.

But this darkness- it harvested a light that cradled every ounce of anger because his arms were a safe haven. She had full faith in the fact that Bellamy would protect her. It almost killed him to see her walk out of camp today with his little sister. Clarke liked that…she liked that he gave a damn about her and wasn't all "Let her make her own choices…" because he wasn't going to let her make stupid decisions because he _cared. _

In this darkness, there was this sense of happiness that boiled over and attempted to set fire to her world. It washed over every single bone in her body and convinced her for long moments that it wasn't so bad here. Today, the moments seemed to last longer because of the peace with the grounders. But she knew—she knew with every bit of her soul that the darkness would return once her mother's feet hit the ground.

Abby Griffin would make her question everything she'd done to make progress. The council would rip away at their leadership skills until they were stupid kids again, fighting a stupid battle against authority. They would say that the balance was restored—the teens would say it was stolen. What about the grounders? They would call them savages because their culture was different and they would degrade them like the people who destroyed Earth in the first place degraded other human beings. Octavia… god, Octavia's heart would be ripped out of her chest if anything happened to Lincoln. If anything happened to Octavia…it would be Clarke's heart being ripped out because Bellamy would seek vengeance and he had the type of will power to achieve it.

She breathed because the fear of the future suddenly consumed her. She needed to take shelter from the paralyzing pain in her chest. There was no time… There was no time… Her breathing picked up because it'd finally settled in her mind that they were pawns in a game she used to play for fun.

Once more, she focused on the nature around her. The water flow, the birds, the critters… she timed her heartbeat and attempted to calm herself before Octavia returned. She needed a plan and she needed Bellamy.

XXX

Clarke was in no mood to talk about her discussion with Lincoln. She considered it concrete whereas the problem at hand was not handled. "Bellamy." She said his name, her head tilting to the side. "I'm scared that everything we're trying to build is going to tumble down."

"I won't let that happen."

"One man isn't going to stop many." Clarke said, "They have an army. We have scared teenagers. They have people with a better education. We have people that minored in areas of study before their lives were ripped away and it's because their lives were ripped away that they will never get along with the council that sent them to die."

Bellamy's muscles were tight, his fist balled up. He didn't like seeing her so worked up. It wasn't good for her. She needed a clear head not a complicated situation. She put her hand on her temples trying to stop the headache forming in the front of her head. "Clarke…" He told her, "We've accomplished too much in these last few days to be focused on that version of the future."

She was on the verge of crying, "I know…" She put her lips together in an attempt to suppress her tears. She cried almost every day this week and not because she sad but because she was getting so angry. Her anger was overpowering her. "I don't want to lose this."

He wrapped his arms around her, "You won't."

"How are you so sure?"

"Because I fight for what I want Clarke." He said, "I will always fight for you." He smoothed her hair down. "I'll fight for what you need, too. It's not time to fight, princess—not yet. Celebrate your accomplishments before calculating your failures."

"Can you keep playing with my hair? My head feels better when you do that." He sat her down on his bed—their bed, he supposed. He let his hand travel through her blonde waves while she calmed. His hand cupped her face, "I need you in my life."

He felt her tears against his hand. "You don't need me…"

"If you think that, you're a fool."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

_5 Weeks Later…_

Clarke's body moved as she reached a hand across his little sister to lightly pat Raven's leg. They were settled along the fire, each girl mesmerized in their giggly conversation. He squinted his eyes, bringing the circular disk to his tentative lips as he swallowed the creek water. It was an awful taste, really, but it was _water. _She flicked her eyes towards him, watching how the girl's covered their mouths after she returned her glance back to them and whispered something he could not hear. There was a specific distaste for Octavia's gossiping nature—never did he assume it was a disease, but as he watched Clarke and Raven play his sister's favorite game he was certain two of the strongest women he knew were infected.

He stepped closer because he _desperately _wanted to know what had the girls in such a fit of laughter. Bellamy's intentions were not to intrude or appear as if he were eavesdropping but he couldn't stop himself. He needed to hear her melodious laughter, bask in her playful words and embrace her flying hands as she explained something he could not translate. He shuffled his feet closer, snapping twigs as he moved. The girls did not seem to notice—no, their attention was shifted to a different man.

Lincoln approached them with a thin-lipped smile and a soft head nod, capturing their attention with every action he made. They gawked at him in his bare chested, warrior-toned presence as if he were god's gift to women—even his own beautiful lover. Bellamy's strides increased until he was close enough to hear Raven's inappropriate comment, "Hey handsome…" She purred, "God, I could just eat you up."

He remembered the day Raven and Finn finally ended their relationship, the way she was confident Finn would never stop wishing to covet what was not _his. _She ended their relationship with a slap and started their friendship with a firm handshake. Bellamy did not understand the hold Finn had on Raven but he assumed it was slightly, mildly, related to his relationship with Octavia. It consisted of one unfaltering word: _Family. _

"Back off." Octavia chimed, narrowing her eyes jokingly at Raven until her face morphed by the excessive laughter piercing through her curved lips. Bellamy could not process how Octavia was able to joke about infidelity. He looked at his blonde vixen, his eyes darkening at the thought of a man uttering Raven's statement and how he would _react_. "He's mine, Reyes."

"What do you have for me, Lincoln?" Clarke asked as he extended his arms towards her, a rusted metal box in his large hands. She hesitantly opened the container, struggling with the latch for a brief movement before it popped open with an awful _sound. _"Thank you." Her face was radiant, touched by such happiness and gratefulness. Her lips parted as she continued to smile up at Lincoln, "This means a lot." He wanted to know the contents of the _fucking _box. Bellamy extended a rough hand towards Lincoln, who accepted the handshake with immediate respect. He watched as Clarke turned her eyes up to him, unaware that he was looking at her so _intently in_ the first place. Bellamy winked and observed as a faint blush moved up her neck. It was as if they had their own secret, private space every time a small action such as winking was preformed despite the fact that secrets were rare in their camp.

The entire camp knew of their relationship one way or another—mostly because Octavia could not resist calling Clarke "sister" over the last five weeks, partly because Bellamy and Clarke were on _fire. _He would lean down and kiss her ever-so-sweetly before grabbing her hand and openly leading her to _their _tent. And she, she was not better than him when it came to getting what she wanted. Her fingers would trail up his back, making him arch like a cat before whispering her desires in his ear. He would normally follow with a smug look. With their youthful actions, the rumors flew and people were excited with the increased morale of the two overbearing leaders.

Her concentration was broken by a painful force to her breast, "Ow!" Clarke complained, her hand gently rubbing across the area as she glared daggers towards Raven. "That fucking hurt." Clarke and Raven were becoming great friends after her public breakup with Finn. It gave each girl a specific perspective—survival and their similarities as strong women. They started to giggle, too loud in Bellamy's opinion.

He was trying to have a proper discussion with Lincoln concerning their alliance. It'd been going fairly well with limited interactions and decreased fear among their people. Lincoln was the volunteered spokesperson of the grounders, mostly because he wanted to see Octavia multiple times a week. Bellamy respected him on a political level but he did not know how to feel when it came to his relationship with his sister. "What are you going to do, put me in time out?" She arched an eyebrow, a seductive smile hinting at the curve of her lips.

"Afraid you'd like it to much…" Bellamy's voice was a soft, contemplative whisper as his thoughts started to drift towards a more creative, imaginary place. They exchanged a purposeful look before he lightly chuckled and returned to his conversation with Lincoln. Even in their fiery, compassion they knew who they really _were. _Leaders. They had to be leaders rather than running off to be in whatever tricky position they found themselves in.

Octavia covered her ears with her hands and started to shake her head, "Too much. Too much!" She squealed before faking a gag. It took all but a few minutes before she elbowed Raven in gut for what appeared to be the second time that day by the look on Raven's face. She frowned deeply and pinched Octavia with her tiny fingers, watching as the playful brunette pouted and rubbed her upper arm until it was stained red. "Pay back's a bitch, Raven."

"What the hell are you talking about? You started it." Raven argued, her mouth turning into a pitiful _O _as she stole a look towards Clarke. Clarke snorted because she was not going to be a mediator between them. "Whatever I'm so over this game." Raven stood to leave, running her eyes across Lincoln's body once more before parting to join Monty in the communications tent. Clarke crossed her arms to protect her stomach from Octavia's flying elbows, sensing she was not finished with her violent game. She moved her arm forward, fully prepared to give Clarke a taste of the torment she'd put Raven under when Lincoln cleared his throat.

"You really don't need to be hitting her like that Octavia, you might cause problems." It was odd to see Lincoln so concerned with Octavia's roughness. He sent her a look of authority mixed with a slight plea for her to stop being so childish. She pouted briefly before turning her head to Clarke.

"Whatever." She grumbled, "Your tattoo's almost healed anyway I don't know why there's such a freaking problem."

"He just saved my lunch." Clarke giggled, "He is my hero."

In response, Octavia snorted and waved her hand flippantly. "I have to conserve my strength anyway for round two with Raven." The boy's—men, really—completed their talk with another handshake. Clarke would be sure to find out every missed detail of their conversation when she was alone with Bellamy. She would have interrupted them if she weren't so keen on the idea that they needed to bond. Lincoln clearly loved Octavia dearly and that was not going to change just as Bellamy would never stop trying to protect his sister.

I'll leave you with your Queen." Lincoln smiled at his words, earning a small kiss on the cheek from Octavia. Octavia was trying to teach Lincoln the culture of the Ark and the way the teenagers behaved. Funny, really, because Octavia was truly the last person Clarke would ever recommend to teach Ark Culture and ways of life in their community—she was under the floor for almost 17 years, how much could she _really _know?

"You hear that? I'm a queen now." Clarke said as she stood, brushing the dirt from her pants before her eyes made contact with his.

"You'll always be Princess to me." He moved forward to kiss her forehead, his hand knotting in her hair before he released her skin, a jealous question forming on his lips. "Why is he so protective over you anyway?"

She simply shrugged, "I guess it's just part of their culture. All the leaders I've ever met are women so he might have a certain respect for me…look, he brought me antidotes for possible poisons." She opened the box to show him, the same radiant smile gracing her lips again. "Thoughtful, really…"

"As long as he knows it's my job to protect you."

"I can protect myself." She said on cue, her signature frown designed just for him meeting her face instead of the smile he cherished. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, guiding her towards the drop ship. He was spending a lot more time in the drop ship with her than he needed to, but Clarke wasn't complaining. "So tonight when we get back to the tent…"

"Yeah?" Bellamy was intrigued with her line of conversation, thinking back to their earlier innuendos. She turned away from him to hide her amusement because of his eagerness.

"I'm going straight to sleep. I am so tired."

"Tease." He mumbled before he brushed her hair away from the back of her neck and placed his lips to her skin. His fingers started to trail down her back, towards her side. It wasn't until then, that he noticed his princess was not wearing her jacket. He was going to ask where her jacket was but the sound of his name echoing off the walls of the drop ship brought him back to reality. "I swear this always happens…"

XXX

_Her hands shook, dripping in blood. The thick red liquid moved down her hands to her elbows at an unnatural pace. Something caused her to inspect her body to see if it was her blood. She watched the blood stain her abdomen and then rise up her chest. She felt like she was drowning. _

_Her mind told her it wasn't her blood… _

_She breathed and looked around the emptiness before she was quite suddenly met with a face that was dark and concealed. If she had to compare it to anything—it would be death. "All your people are dead" It announced through a black chiffon mouth cover. "and their blood's on your hands, Clarke Griffin."_

"_What? No…" Clarke panicked, letting tears run down her face in grief, "They can't be dead!" _

"_You didn't protect them." The figure told her, "You swore you were going to protect them and you didn't protect them!" Death's voice changed repeatedly into the sound of the people she spent her day to day life with. _

"_I would have!" She screamed, "I would have if I'd known something was wrong." (Because she would have…she knew she would have without a doubt.) _

_The figure became louder, "They were always in danger! From the moment the Arc people came down to this Earth they were in danger. You didn't save them. You didn't fight." She felt overwhelming fear paralyze her as she remembered her thoughts from weeks ago. She knew she had to protect them…so why didn't she? Why did she just let her people die? _

_Their blood was literally on her hands and she was covered. _

"_I would-"_

Clark felt a rough hand grip her shoulder before her eyes opened widely, her body jolting in the process. She recognized the calloused pattern on her bare skin but she could not slow the painful thumping in her chest. His arms circled her body following the soft whimper from her shaking figure. She attempted to focus on something _else _but the images of her nightmare continued to flash before her eyes in the dark tent. "Baby…" He whispered while he rested his chin against her soaking wet hair, tightening his grip instinctively. He willed her to calm down, to realize that he was there to protect her. After minutes of her harsh breathing, silence took over his fears.

He could feel her stillness—feel how cold she was against him. He kissed her shoulder, his hand running down her skin as a reminder that he was _there _and he was not going anywhere. "I'm used to the nightmares…" She said tentatively, exhaling before she continued. "It comes with the territory but this nightmare…it was different."

"I can tell." He tried to comfort her with his hot breath against the side of her neck. His hovering kisses begging her to thaw from her frigid position. "Tell me about it?" He asked softly while his fingers started to play with the ends of her hair. "Please."

She pressed into him, "They killed everyone, Bellamy…They came down and killed everyone and it was my fault because I didn't protect them." She started to shake once more at the mere thought of her dream, "We have to protect them."

"We will protect them, Clarke. They're our people, how could we not?" His words did not bring her the comfort he hoped they would.

"What you're saying makes sense…it doesn't mean that I can forget that dream. I will never forget that dream."

He wasn't thinking about sex, he wasn't thinking about how one of her legs were slung over his and how the other laid flat between him. He wasn't being aroused by the way his upper arm touched her breast or how her hair sent the familiar smell of moonshine through his nose because she was constantly disinfecting everything around her… he was only thinking about how he wanted to tear her pain away by comforting her the best he could.

Honestly, he wasn't thinking about sex until she asked him in her sweetest voice, "Can you make the memory go away tonight?" He kissed her shoulder wetly which was his version of 'Yes'. Her head fell back onto his shoulder while he placed kisses down her neck. He used his tongue to seal the kisses, sharply moving as far down as he could in their current position. She moaned, "Bell…" When his hand reached down to her clit, rubbing the bundle of nerves slowly. The circular motion his fingers elicited numerous moans—moans that were driving Bellamy absolutely crazy. He wanted to give her this pleasure but he wanted to experience it too.

She could tell by his rock hard shaft that he wanted a deeper contact with her. "Bellamy, please…" She groaned, gripping his thigh. "I need you in me." She did. She wanted to be a close as possible to the light he gave her. She wanted to hold onto it forever and never let it slip away.

He laid her on her side, placing kisses from her neck to her knee before she turned on her back. She spread her legs, looking up him. The wild look in his eyes was one she would never forget as long as she lived. His unkempt hair and complacent smile were appealing in every sense of the word. She brought her hand up to his face, tugging his jaw down until his lips met hers. The crushing passion that their kiss radiated was delightful. The way his body was elevated above her made her grin. "What?" He asked.

"Just you." She said quietly.

"Me?" He rolled his eyes, "Sometimes I feel the excessive need to get mirrors so you can see your grace every waking moment." He kissed her forehead, "You're everything, baby."

XXX

Octavia lingered outside of Bellamy's tent listening to the girlish giggles and low chuckles that carried from inside of the tent. She smiled, looking down at her feet. She really hated to ruin the moment but there was a more pressing matter. She pulled the tent flap aside to see two naked people she never ever wanted to see. "Oh my god." She covered her eyes with both hands, "I can't—god-god, please make it go away!"

She heard the rustle of a blanket and the rough sound of a pants zipper before Bellamy coarsely said, "You can open your eyes now." Clarke was tucked under the panther fur while he sat at the opposite end of the bed with only his pants on. She thought about how innocent Clarke looked—how her skin had a childlike glow to it that made Octavia want to smile.

"Who laughs when they're having sex?" Octavia asked, maintaining her disgusted tone. "That's so weird!"

"We weren't having sex." Clarke argued, hugging the blanket closer to her as a blush formed all over her skin. Bellamy felt her move, smiled towards his sister before turning his attention to Clarke. Octavia could tell he was sending her one of those adoring looks he often gave her. She wanted to throw up and praise him simultaneously, luckily she did not have to make a decision on which she would do first because Clarke asked, "Is something wrong?"

"For most people, I would say no." Octavia said, "For you though…yeah, something's wrong. Your mom's on the monitor. She's demanding to talk to you."

Clarke frowned and said, "Dismiss her" as if it were the obvious and most appropriate response she could think of in that moment.

"You know Raven can't dismiss your mom. She's got a weird thing for her." Octavia rolled her eyes, "Get your pretty little ass dressed and dismiss your mom yourself."

Bellamy wasn't smiling anymore. In fact, he seemed quite agitated. "You can leave now, O." Octavia didn't move. She wanted to observe his reaction. She watched as his face cracked between a rueful smile and a deathly frown—his fingers picked absentmindedly at his pant leg in the process. He was more than agitated, he was pissed. Octavia groaned before she exited the tent way more dramatically than necessary.

Clarke tossed the blanket from her naked frame and stood up, her hand running through her tangled hair before she gathered her clothes and quickly put them on. All the while, she waited for him to say something not so much as her boyfriend, but as a leader. "It'll be fine." She mumbled sourly as she threw herself back on the bed so she could lace up her boots.

"You barely went back to sleep last night." Bellamy started in, reminding her of her awful nightmare. She recognized it as a battle strategy he liked to use in arguments as a way to turn her against her decisions. "I'm concerned that she'll stress you out…she will _frighten _you or hurt you."

"I'm not fragile, Bellamy." Clarke kissed the corner of his lips before parting the tent. He recognized the beginnings of her fearless mask in the glance. She walked around people, sending nods where they were due—smiles where they were needed but she felt completely hallow as she thought of her mother. The emotions were overwhelming when the sting of her betrayal registered.

She pulled the flap back to the communications tent and sat in front of the monitor. "You haven't made contact in weeks. We were concerned."

"Weeks without communication in a metal box never seemed to bother you." Clarke shot back but steadied herself. She needed to talk like a _leader_—nothing more, nothing less. "We're fine. No causalities, no starvation, minor injuries and more importantly peace with the natives."

Her mother nodded in approval, "Once we land, you'll be able to launch a better arsenal against the grounders. We'll bring enough guns and any other weapons to do so. Peace with these savages won't have to be necessary to survive." It was her nonchalant attitude that struck Clarke at first—as if murder was that simple.

Clarke opened her mouth, her anger was not able to be concealed. "They're our neighbors…some are our friends! We're not going to murder them because you can't share resources!"

"It's already decided, Clarke. The risk is too high." Abby started in with her sanctimonious speech, "You can talk to the council and put in your opinion but you have to be reasonable. These people are a threat to our way of life."

She felted unwarranted tears prick her eyes, "This whole fucking planet's a threat to your way of life! They're human beings and if you make me choose between the people that floated dad and locked me up and the people that have helped stabilize this camp—I will choose them and I'm positive a lot of the other will too."

"I won't be disrespected." Abby said warningly, "You're acting like a child."

"No, mom, you're acting like a murderer." Clarke hit the camera button and pushed herself out of the chair. She needed to talk to Bellamy…she needed to talk to Lincoln, too. She pushed through the same people she'd exchanged looks with just minutes ago because everyone seemed to be in her way. If she could see her face, she'd see how terrified she looked. She felt as if she were going to be sick, but she pushed it down.

The second she saw a glimpse of his body, she had him by his wrist. Bellamy didn't need to be pulled to follow her. He knew by the tenseness of her muscles that it was highly important. She led him to the tent and turned around quickly on her heels. God, her face… it was a face he never wanted to see again. There was so much fear, so much terror… it was heartbreaking. "Clarke, what did she say?"

"They plan to annihilate the grounders even with our new peace." She said coldly, "It's like nothing I said mattered. They're so hell-bent on taking over and killing these people that they are beyond reason. It doesn't even make sense to kill the innocent."

Bellamy's second thought besides trying to evaluate Clarke's mental state was his sister. His poor little sister that had fallen in love with a grounder who was doomed to be killed if the Ark had any say about it. Octavia would never recover. "We won't let it happen." He said, "We'll fight."

"We'll die." Clarke said flatly, "It's a suicide mission."

"But isn't it worth it?" Clarke was sure someone had said the same thing before they blew up the world killing billions of people with them.

"Don't you see it, Bellamy? Who are we to decide how much life is worth?" Clarke said, "I can only make my own choices… I made a deal. I got stitches and a tattoo…which I now understand because if I break this deal then I get to walk around for the rest of my life with a reminder that I sentenced these people to death… But I made a deal and I plan on keeping it. I can't ask you or anyone else in this camp to follow me."

"You wouldn't have to ask me to follow you, Clarke." He said, "I'd do it blindly…but this isn't a blind choice. It's right and wrong. It is wrong to kill the grounders. It is right to fight beside them."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

Clarke clearly hadn't learned her lesson the first time she snuck out the gate with Octavia. This was different, though. Their obnoxious laughter filled the forest as they made their way to the grounder village. Octavia slurred something along the lines of "First grounder party! Wooooohoooo!" Clarke only laughed louder.

She felt like a teenager sneaking away from her parent's supervision. Octavia was already extremely drunk. Clarke wasn't even drunk—she didn't see the point in wasting medical supplies on pleasure. She wished she was drunk. Still, she felt like she was drunk off the pureness of her happiness high. She liked the way Octavia laughed and how she skipped and looked for magic in a cruel world. Clarke let herself fake enjoyment until it was actual enjoyment. She was probably laughing too loud, smiling too wide, acting out of character…but did it really matter? She needed this moment because it would mean something when war was raining down on her people.

The darkness of the night, the way the trees blew in the wind- she would remember that sound. The way Octavia's brown hair flew in that wind- the way her eyes looked up at those trees- she would remember the sight. How they laughed, how they grinned at one another—god, she would remember that way.

Octavia danced around her at the ditch entrance before calling out in utter drunkenness, "Lover boy!" Lincoln appeared with a slight frown on his face.

"You didn't tell me you were bringing Clarke." He said, "You aren't drunk are you?" His question was directed towards Clarke.

"No." Octavia shook her head, "She refuses to drink because she says it's wasteful. Real buzz kill, Barbie."

Lincoln nodded, "Come on in…" His mood seemed to shift at Octavia's statement. Clarke took in the scene of dancing people in animal skins around a fire and thought of all the beautiful movies she'd seen based off of Native Americans.

She wouldn't forget that either.

XXX

Lincoln carried Octavia on his back, her grip around his neck almost strangling him. In his arms, he had a passed out Clarke. She'd been talking in her sleep but Lincoln knew not to wake her up. Too often, he'd been acquainted with night terrors.

Bellamy's long strides from across the camp caused Lincoln to stop in his steps. He heard Octavia groan, "Why are you stopping? We are not in my tent!" Octavia jumped down off of her boyfriend and whipped around to be met with her brother's angry glare. "Damn."

"Damn's right, O." Bellamy said, his hands on his hips as he tried to control himself. He wanted to punch Lincoln in the face and lock Octavia up in her tent for multiple days until she came to her senses. Then, he looked at Clarke. She was actually sleeping. Octavia looked at him with crossed arms like she'd just won a battle.

"Clarkeeeee-" She sung, "Wakey wakey party girl." She shook Clarke awake. Clarke nearly jumped out of Lincoln's arms. He lowered her feet to the ground and Clarke put her hand to her forehead. She felt like she was going to throw up again. She contained herself and looked at Bellamy. His face was stuck between concerned and irritated.

"Bellamy, don't." Clarke said with a wave of her hand. "You don't need to freak out because we went to a little party."

"I have never seen so much ass in my life." Octavia said to antagonize Bellamy. None of it was true but she followed up with, "Nudist parties are _amazing." _

Clarke shot her a dirty look, "We were with Lincoln the entire night. I have a duty to go to these events to solidify our relationship. You said you didn't want to go. I wasn't going to go alone." Clarke was trying to alter the story because Clarke hadn't wanted to go either. Octavia nearly drug her from the camp during the first four minutes of their walk. It was Octavia's idea to really go. But, she wasn't going to have Bellamy going to extremes to lock O away.

Lincoln shook his head though, "That's not correct."

"Shut up." Octavia nudged him with her elbow, "Right now."

Bellamy threw his hands up in the air and walked away from the group. "I can't talk about this right now." Clarke knew she would hear an earful of it later once they were alone. He would go over the key points of protection, threats, Octavia, and how much he worried when she was gone.

Octavia looked at Lincoln, "When she lies- go with it."

"It's not respectful." Lincoln said before placing a kiss on Octavia's forehead. Clarke started to walk to Bellamy's tent. She wanted to sleep for days. Her face collided with the panther blanket the second she was in a proximity to slam herself into the bed. She told herself she was never going to another late night grounder retreat. She knew that was also a lie.

XXX

Clarke didn't know when Octavia climbed in the bed with her, but she woke up with her brown hair almost in her mouth. Clarke stretched her leg awkwardly into the air because she could and smiled as she recalled all the tribal dancing she'd done the night before. "Stop moving." Octavia said, "I'm trying to sleep."

"Don't you have your own bed?"

"Don't you?" Octavia countered. She rolled over so she was on her stomach and looked at Clarke. "Last night was fun."

Clarke giggled, "You can remember last night?"

"Barely." Octavia said, "I remember you letting your hair down though. That was refreshing."

"I let my hair down all the time."

"Yeah, in this tent with my brother. Not in public." Octavia said, "I think in another situation you would be the funniest person at the party."

"I think I'd be a lot of things in another situation." Clarke said, "Do you ever think about how your life would be if there hadn't been atomic bombs? Statistically, we wouldn't know each other at all. But if we did, would we even like each other?"

"I think you'd be my best friend." Octavia said, "…sleeping with my brother. I would probably hate you for that." She shrugged, "But you're my best friend because I trust you _here_. You've proven yourself… plus, you are in a relationship with my jackass brother so there must be something about you that can relate to me because I've had to deal with him my entire life."

"That means a lot, O." Clarke smiled before turning over and putting her feet on the ground. "We have to get back to reality, though. I feel like I've been slacking on my duties for weeks as well as our friends. I can't remember the last time I had a meaningful conversation with anyone besides you and Raven." Octavia nodded in agreement. "I guess Bellamy can be included in that but every time we talk it turns into sex…"

"Stop." Octavia pleaded, "I don't want to know…that being said, maybe you two should try not to jump each other's bones every time you say hi."

XXX

Octavia made sense—eventually, the "sex well" would have to run out. They couldn't have sex every single night or any time of day because of their heated passion. Clarke didn't want a pure physical relationship…if she had, she would have stayed with their original agreement. She knew that Bellamy cared deeply about her…he would protect her against anything. He would never let her go hungry- in fact, he practically shoved food down her throat… and he would never let her go without other necessary things she needed. But, Clarke craved the love she knew that Bellamy could give her if he turned himself fully to her.

She couldn't help but think that Bellamy, as much as he cared, held back bits and pieces of himself in case things went bad. But how could she blame him? Wasn't she doing the same damn thing? It was easy to let them touch each other… it was easy from them to scratch the surface of one another's hearts but Clarke didn't even know if they could truly love each other with everything they had.

She didn't even know the strength of everything she had.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

Clarke walked along the sides of camp with her hands shoved deep in the pockets of her jacket. She had her thinking face on and her hair was blowing in the delicate wind that graced the camp. She hoped they weren't on the verge of another storm. She didn't know if she could handle another storm even if the results with Bellamy were fantastic…it was the wrong time.

But storms never appear during the _right _time. They just appear.

She waved at Octavia then Jasper. They seemed to be enjoying a theoretical conversation about…berries? If Clarke heard Jasper correctly. Clarke found it odd that Jasper was the one informing Octavia on berries when it was clearly Monty's forte. Then, it dawned on her that Jasper was one hopeful little devil and he had a thing for Octavia.

Clarke smiled and looked down at her feet while she walked. Big mistake.

Finn chuckled, "Watch out princess."

"Please." She said, "Don't call me that."

He rolled his eyes, "Would you prefer it if I call you baby? You seemed to respond to that more often than your own name."

"Jealous, much?" A strong gust of wind brought the most _repulsive _smell she'd ever smelt through her nose. She felt like she was going to get sick.

"Very." Finn said seductively before Clarke turned away from him quickly. He caught sight of her face distorting before he was faced with her blonde hair. "What's wrong?" She extended her arm behind her telling him to _stop- don't walk any further._

"I'm going to need you to get 15 feet back right now." She coughed but Finn didn't listen. He moved closer which brought the smell closer to her. "Get away from me!" She screamed maybe a little too loud- okay, maybe a lot "too loud" because Bellamy appeared by her side in an instant. Finally, Finn stepped a good distance back. She regained herself and looked sheepishly up at Bellamy. His eyes questioned her but his hands twitched in anger. He wanted Finn away from Clarke completely.

"What are you still doing here?" Bellamy asked him.

Clarke squinted her eyes, "Please Finn, leave."

"Fine." Finn responded, "This conversation isn't over."

Bellamy put his hand on Clarke's forehead, "Baby are you getting sick?" She smiled at the word _baby _because he'd been carelessly throwing it around as of late. It was becoming second nature for him to use the endearing term and for her to respond to it accordingly. Although, she wasn't going to pretend that she didn't like the term _more _when he was panting it.

"I don't know." Clarke shrugged, "I've probably picked up something. I've been splitting time between the village and here." He leaned down to kiss her but she put her hand on his chest and pushed, "You shouldn't."

He laughed, "It's a risk I'm willing to take."

In that second, a bright light flashed across the sky and Clarke's heart completely stopped. The entire camp immediately started talking about the sizable explosion. "Bellamy." She turned to him fearfully, "It's time." He looked at her with a completely different expression than moments before and nodded. She thought she detected the same amount of fear in his eyes that could be heard in her shaky voice. "Do you think it will be immediate?"

Bellamy shook his head, "I don't know. I imagine they would focus on setting up first…but then…"

"Then our friends get murdered and we go to war."

"Ninety-seven years and the first thing they want to do is murder people." Clarke sighed, "It's like the lesson was never learned and we're doomed to repeat an unwanted history."

Bellamy's hand rubbed her back, "What do you want to do?"

"Keep up appearances." Clarke said, "I'll gather a group to gather information about survivors."

He sighed, "It's okay to say you're worried about your mom."

"That person may look like my mom but she's certainly not." Clarke sighed, "You find it weird they didn't even tell us they were coming? It's odd."

Bellamy sighed again, "They wanted to throw us off."

XXX

Their lips touched but it was her tears he felt against his face. "Clarke…" He wiped them away with a flick of his thumb across her features. "This is necessary." There were four juveniles at the gate with cheerful faces and red cheeks. They were waiting on their fearless leader who was nowhere in sight. But, at the angle Clarke and Bellamy were in they could see everything and be seen by none.

"When I said group, I didn't mean you." She sniffled, "You'll be back by tomorrow, right?"

Bellamy grinded his teeth before responding, "I'm not sure."

"Then don't go." Clarke said, "Please, Bellamy…don't go!"

Bellamy flattened her hair with his hand, "Baby…I have to go. I can't send these idiots by themselves. Someone has to be the diplomat."

"I'll go."

"And if something happens?" Bellamy said, "We can't afford to lose you."

"I can't afford to lose you!" Clarke nearly yelled, "Bellamy." She slammed their foreheads together. In that moment all of her fear about their relationship seemed to vanish. She was faced with the idea of something horrible happening to him and it scared her. So, she spoke. "I…"

"I know." He said, "Me too."

Clarke let another tear roll down her cheek when he kissed her once more. "Go." It was insane how much go could sound like _stay. _He nodded before parting from their hideout towards his sister. He hugged her tightly for a few minutes before shaking Lincoln's hand.

Lincoln was staying behind because Bellamy feared his presence would be seen negatively rather than a good thing even if he was capable of being the warrior they all needed. To Bellamy's dismay, Lincoln didn't seem too upset about staying behind.

Bellamy looked back at Clarke, who had her arms crossed disapprovingly in a last-minute attempt to convince him to stay. He smiled at her before the gate opened. She turned her back and started to shake. Luckily, Octavia had Clarke's back. "He'll be okay." Octavia told her, "Come on…we have to start preparing for-"

"The worst." Clarke told her, "I know."

XXX

An orange fog filled the entire camp and green dots appeared on those in the immediate vicinity of the gate. At first, the teens were prepared to fight but then all the fight drained out of them and they fell to the ground in a deep sleep.

XXX

Bellamy struggled with the handcuffs for a good bit before someone joined him in the "jail" the Ark seemed to have created just for him.

Kane.

He wished this was the first time they'd had any type of conversation but it wasn't. Kane was a repeated figure throughout his whole life…and a total jackass. He rolled his eyes when Kane sat in front of him. "I don't want to fight you." He was whispering which caught Bellamy off-guard. "I'm on your side, son."

"Please, spare yourself." Bellamy scoffed, "Don't call me son."

They engaged one another in a contest of will. Bellamy was tired and concerned about his sister and Clarke but that didn't mean that he was weak. He waited for Kane to speak and when he did, Bellamy relaxed only slightly. "I don't want to kill innocent people." He said, "So you need to convince the council members why we shouldn't."

"They won't listen."

"Make them listen." Marcus said sternly, "They've already voted on keeping you here. Restricted access outside of this camp."

"What?" Bellamy said, "My people are out there."

"They aren't your problem anymore." He said, "We've sent people to extract them from their current location."

Bellamy sat down on the ground and prayed that Clarke and Lincoln didn't start an attack.


	8. Chapter 8

**SHORT CHAPTER ALERT!**

Chapter 8:

Clarke woke up to the sound of a fast heartbeat that was not her own in a room that she'd never been in and didn't want to be in. She brought herself up, trying to rip wires off of her until she turned to the screen to her right. She gasped at the image and looked down at her stomach. Of course, it didn't look like a baby… it looked like a jalapeño. Yet, that little jalapeño was a baby… her baby. "Son of a bitch…" She mused, looking at the screen.

The door opened and Clarke scooted up the bed away from the person walking in. It was a doctor—at least, that's what Clarke assumed. "Clarke Griffin." The doctor greeted her, "Your friends talk highly of you. They've been very concerned about your condition. If we had known that you were pregnant, we wouldn't have gassed your camp. We apologize." The doctor checked vitals and checked things off on her clipboard.

"Where's Octavia?" Clarke asked because she knew in Bellamy's absence that Octavia was her responsibility. "Raven? Finn? Lincoln? Where are they?"

"We have no record of a Finn and Lincoln." The woman said, "Raven and Octavia have been waiting for you to wake up. I'll get them."

"Do they know about the baby?" Clarke asked before the lady could walk out.

"No." She said, "They don't."

Clarke watched her leave before hitting the power button on the monitors. She wasn't ready for anyone to know that Bellamy knocked her up. Bellamy…

The thought of him returning to camp without them being there was extremely nerve-racking. She hoped he was okay only because she knew for sure that he was alive. Octavia came running in, grabbing Clarke by her shoulders before pulling her into a hug. Shockingly, Raven did the same thing even though she wasn't one for the "sissy shit."

Clarke smiled, "I'm glad you two are okay."

"We're glad you're okay." Raven said, "Jasper, Monty and Miller have been pacing around the dorm for days."

"Days?" Clarke said, "I was out that long?"

Octavia nodded, "Clarke… Bellamy isn't-"

"I figured as much." Clarke said, "He'd be here."

"He would have never left." Octavia agreed, "Finn and…_Lincoln _aren't here either."

Raven sort of made a strange shoulder readjustment, "You know something." Clarke said pointedly. "Spill."

"Finn went to look for Bellamy, okay? They were late and we were concerned." Raven said, "We were concerned about everyone."

Clarke nodded, "What about Lincoln?"

"He was supposed to be here." Octavia said, "He would not abandon me."

Raven mouthed something along the lines of, "She's having a hard time accepting the truth."

But Octavia was right—Lincoln would never abandon her. Clarke sighed and said something about needing her rest. Raven nodded when Octavia said, "I'm not leaving you." Clarke knew how serious Octavia was being so she let her stay.

"I believe that Lincoln would never leave you." Clarke said, "What are these people like?"

"Nice." Octavia said, "Too nice to a bunch of teenagers."

Clarke nodded, "Have they tried to make contact with the Ark?"

"No." Octavia said, "They're highly equipped with all these supplies yet they can't make a simple radio call."

XXX

Clarke was handed a printed out picture about 3x4 inches the next day by the doctor. It was a picture of her jalapeno baby. Clarke smiled, her fingers tracing the black and white picture. It was amazing to think of her pregnancy but awful to think of the terms surrounding it.

Octavia walked into the room. "What's that?" Clarke shoved the image in her pocket and coughed.

"Nothing."

"Seriously, Clarke? I know you can lie better than that." Octavia hadn't been very patient over the last week while she waited for Clarke to fully recover. She didn't know why Clarke was spending so much time in the medical area of Mount Weather. It scared her. What if Clarke had some kind of illness? Lincoln always seemed to worry about her health…what if he knew something no one else did?

Clarke pulled the paper out of her pocket and handed it over to Octavia without meeting her eyes. "I'm pregnant, O." Clarke said.

"I'm going to be an Aunt." Octavia said excitedly, "Oh my god!" She jumped up and down, wrapping her arms around Clarke. "How far along?"

"By the picture, I would say six to seven weeks maybe." Clarke smiled, "Talk about bad timing."

"You're happy, though." Octavia nodded, "It makes sense now…Lincoln knew before you knew. That's insane."

"It'd probably be one of those things that he had to know for the female warriors." Clarke said, "You'd have to recognize it." Octavia couldn't stop smiling. She was excited and grateful about the entire situation. "What?"

"My brother's your baby daddy." She clapped her hands, "This is perfect."

"Perfect?"

"Because if you have a girl, you're going to name her after me of course."

"Of course." Clarke laughed.

XXX

Kane and two guards barged into the jail, "Where are they, Blake?" Kane was using his serious voice this time. "There's not a single person at the camp sight. We found a stray walking in the woods, probably lost as he walked to your hide out."

"What?" Bellamy's surprise was noted as genuine. "You're lying."

"Why would we lie?" Kane asked, "Do you think the grounders-"

"We have peace with the grounders. They wouldn't lay a hand on our people." Bellamy said, "It's something else…"

"Something else?" Kane asked, "What else could it be?"

Bellamy didn't have an answer for that. "Un-cuff me. You said I would have restricted access. I want out of this room." Kane nodded to get Bellamy released. "Who was the stray?" _Clarke…Octavia…Lincoln? _

"Finn Collins."

"Son of a bitch." Bellamy groaned.

XXX

Clarke and Octavia were snooping around the entire facility with the excuse of "Pregnancy Cravings" although they were nowhere near the kitchen or dining hall. They moved up blinds, opened doors until they found themselves by a vent. "I wonder why that's industrialized…" Clarke said under her breath before hitting it open.

She jumped back just in time for Octavia to look into the place. "Oh my god…I'm going to be sick." She said, "They're humans, Clarke." She cried, "They're being treated like animals as if they're disposable and they're humans!"

Clarke brought Octavia in for a hug, "We have to tell Miller and Raven."

"What about Jasper?"

"Maya." Clarke reminded her, "It's like he's under some spell. He won't listen."

"He'll listen to me."

"You need to worry about Lincoln." Clarke said, "We need to get him out as soon as possible and we need to get home."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

Bellamy and Finn looked at each other. Bellamy wasn't sure if Finn was going to hug him or choke him but he didn't have to find out the answer because Abby Griffin was by Finn's side as if he mattered more than Bellamy. If she knew what Finn did to her daughter…

Bellamy had to focus. He couldn't keep going to that place in his mind—or that place in his heart that Clarke inhabited. He needed to be strong, he needed to be cold. He had to be a warrior, not a love-struck idiot.

But looking at the way Abby put her hair up—the way she carried herself. She was a constant reminder of Clarke. Finn looked at Bellamy, "Where do you think they are?"

"I don't know, Finn." Bellamy didn't even sound aggravated by his presence. "We're going to find them, though. I promise you that."

"Do you think they're-"

"Don't go there." It wasn't Bellamy that responded, it was Abby. "Finn, you know Clarke better than anyone right now…where would she be?"

"Mrs. Griffin." Finn shook his head, "I don't know Clarke anymore… you're going to have to ask her partner." He moved his head towards Bellamy. "They're close."

Abby looked like it actually pained her to talk to Bellamy. "I got arrested saving a man—a good man—that you shot."

"I got pardoned."

"I didn't have the opportunity to vote." She said coldly, "But my daughter trusts you enough to lead these teens and I can deal with that until we find her." Bellamy nodded.

Finn opened his mouth, "We have to go back to the campsite."

"Consider it done."

XXX

Clarke, Octavia, Raven and Miller sat in a corner, sipping on fresh water with small smiles on their faces. "Pregnant?" Miller said, "Congrats!" Clarke sighed because she wasn't feeling the warm fuzzy feelings that people were supposed to feel when it came to pregnancy. She was scared, she was nervous and she was on edge. She wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of the creepy place and find Bellamy. But, she couldn't afford to be impulsive.

"We could open the doors." Raven said, "But we'd we killing innocent people that have no idea what's going on."

"We could kill the leaders and doctors." Octavia said, "They're the evil people."

"But these people have grown up with them…they'll revolt and people will die." Clarke said, "We have to do this with as little blood on our hands as possible. We need to focus on our escape first and then gathering people to help us."

Miller opened his mouth but paused before he actually said anything, "We're going to leave them behind…"

"We have to in order to save their lives."

"Ever feel like we're reliving history?" He said, "The people on the Ark made the same choice a hundred years ago… they left the ancestors of the grounders behind, left these people behind and look at the results." He exhaled, "There are going to be causalities no matter what Clarke. It's your call to make. Whose lives matter? Whose don't?"

"Everyone matters." Raven spoke up, "And if we stay here we're going to end up like the grounders! We can't avoid death all around."

"Stuck between a rock and a hard place." Clarke mused absently as her voice became monotonous. Was she going to have to make a sacrifice that she didn't want to have to make?

Her life.

The life of her unborn child?

Who matters?

XXX

Bellamy and Finn looked at the destruction of their home. Toppled over tents and some type of left over residue lining everything…it sickened Bellamy. "Lincoln was with them." He said, "He's a trained warrior…"

"He's one man." Finn said, "He can't protect nearly 100 people…can he?"

Bellamy shrugged, "He shouldn't have to." _I should have been here… _"It wasn't the grounders. Clarke has the treaty with them…that tattoo and all." He shouldn't be thinking about that tattoo—it was a major turn on. "The grounders had enemies before us."

"And?"

"And maybe we inherited their enemies." Bellamy told him, "You're a tracker, Finn…I need you to track Lincoln."

"Not Clarke?"

"Not Clarke." Bellamy said, "Lincoln's our best chance right now. If he could, he'd leave tracks or something."

Abby caught up with them eventually. Her hair starting to frizz out like Clarke's did sometimes. "Anything?" She asked while Finn closed his eyes and knelt on his knee. Bellamy wanted to laugh bitterly at him because he looked like a fool. He was definitely showing off.

Bellamy was the one who spoke, "The gate is slightly damaged on the left side but it seems that whoever came in, came in through the front…the lack of bodies says that my people were either killed or they were drugged. The optimist in me is praying it was some type of drug which would explain whatever the hell this dust is."

"And if they were killed?"

"There's no blood." Bellamy said, "It would be a poison and if this dust is a poisonous thing then we're dead." _And if they're all dead…I want to be dead. _

XXX

Clarke wasn't in the habit of touching her stomach yet but there she was staring at a mirror, touching her stomach protectively in the private place she found in the mountain camp. It was supposed to be a public bathroom but it was far too clean to have ever been used. She didn't want to lose her baby… She didn't want to lose _their _baby. She wasn't choosing to put herself above anyone else but she was choosing to put her child above everyone else.

Selfish or not…she would claim the title.

"Baby Blake." She mused before the door was opened and she removed her hands from her stomach. It was Raven. "I've made a decision, Raven." She said in her steeliest voice possible. She wanted to sound like a leader. She wanted to be effective and precise. She wanted to save lives but she had to pay the price for each life she wanted to save. "We find Lincoln and we run."

"When?" Raven said, "How?"

"The only way we know how." Clarke said, "We fight through it until we're successful."

Raven nodded, "I'm scared, Clarke. For you…you're the type of person that takes every loss of life personally."

"The day I don't take their lives personally, is the day I've lost myself." She said, "People are going to die. We have to make sure it's not our people." Clarke then went into the specifics of her plan. Raven listened without commenting the entire time she spoke.

"Get your rest." Raven said before leaving, "Please."

XXX

Bellamy and Finn were holding their breath, waiting to drop dead. They never did. His hands were twitching and he was running off of minimal sleep. "I love her." He said once he released another hard breath. Finn's head popped up and he looked at Bellamy with this look of hurt in his eyes. They were sitting in the middle of the camp being watched by everyone.

Finn swallowed hard, "I know…She loves you too."

"Then why are you trying to get in the middle of it?"

"Because I'm not the type to give up."

"You gave up on Raven." Bellamy was being mean but he needed an outlet. "She loves your dumbass."

Finn got up and started to walk away, "I know."

XXX

"He's not here!" Octavia screamed, kicking an empty cage. "Clarke…" She watched as the warrior's girlfriend fell apart before her. She'd never seen her cry so hard before in her life. Her mouth was open as the loud sounds of her heartbreaking echoed throughout the grounder holding area. She was swaying as she started to collapse—her hand gripping her heart because that's where the pain was coming from.

"You have to keep it together, Octavia!" Clarke said as she glanced around at Miller and Raven who were frozen as they watched Octavia. "Keep. It. Together." Clarke said, "We're going to find Lincoln…Octavia, breathe. Raven, I need you to help me with her."

Miller and Clarke took the lead, pushing through the cages and hitting the elevator door. They were going through the most secretive part of the entire mountain. Raven nearly carried Octavia as they walked. "Two guards…two guns." Miller said quietly, pointing to the guards at the end of the hallway. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be." Her head was spinning and it was like she wasn't really doing the things that she was doing. Miller took the first guy down, throwing the gun to Clarke. Clarke pointed it at the other guard. "You don't have to die but I will kill you if you get in our way." He lowered himself to his knees, Miller stripped both men of everything they had such as radios and spare guns. Miller nodded when he concluded they were safe.

He handed a small hand gun to Clarke and the larger one to Raven. "It kicks." He explained, "Don't want to hurt baby Blake."

They started to run towards the door at the end of the hallway, pausing only for Clarke to say. "We don't know what's waiting for us out there."

"Lame ass movie quote?" Raven offered, "See you on the other side."

_Three Hours Later…_

"I got you Miller." Clarke said, her hands pressing down on his shoulder. "I need a shirt." They were in the middle of the forest, a good distance away from the mountain. They hadn't come across anyone… it scared her but it was also comforting to be with her friends. Octavia was acting lively once more. She'd restored her hope after the shoot-out with the Mountain Men. She was looking for Lincoln or she was looking for revenge.

Clarke was just happy that she was walking on her own again.

"Clarke, are you crying?" Miller asked, his face seeming to pale as he looked at the usually composed medic. His eyes were wide and he grabbed her wrist. "Am I going to die?"

She wiped her eyes, smearing some of his blood on her face. "No…Of course not…I can't-"

"Pregnancy hormones." Raven said, "She's crying because she's pregnant. Your wound is superficial."

"A bullet went through his shoulder!" Clarke yelled at her as if Raven's words offended her. "I'll take care of you. Don't talk to him like that!"

"Fine, mom!" Raven said back, "Here."

She handed Clarke her jacket so Clarke could use it to put pressure on Miller's wound. She tied it and helped her friend up. Miller nodded, wincing because of the pain. They were on their way to the Ark campsite. She needed to see Bellamy…

She needed to see him breathe.

If she had to ask god for one thing right now—that was it. She wanted to see his chest fill up with air and his beautiful mouth release it. She wanted a lifetime of watching him breathe. But she could settle for one last time.

They marched throughout the woods until they caught the sight of familiarity. "That's…" She couldn't remember who started the sentence.

"An electric fence." She finished, her hand cover her stomach protectively. "Come on…we have to tell them about the others."

"Why does it feel like we're walking into a worse situation than before?" Miller asked.

"Because, in a way, the second we walk through that fence all of our power is gone." Clarke said, "Until we escape this place too."

"If we didn't have heavy emotional attachments behind that fence…I would say we should have gone to our friends first."

Miller seemed to talk to himself when he said, "When did the enemies become our friends, and family become our enemies?"


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

There's a moment where one forgets to breathe. They forget to think. They forget everything they've done so long by themselves. People call this death…but Clarke knew, if she knew anything, that she was not dead when her eyes met his from across the camp. Her heart thumped in her chest painfully. She wanted to call his name, wanted to do a lot of things actually-but she was incapable of movement. If she were dead, though, she welcomed death because the way he looked at her made her want to die satisfied.

And when the realization of her presence dawned on him. His shoulders fell and his face distorted as if he were going to cry. She nearly ran to him, her arms wrapping around her shoulders because she didn't want to see him in pain any longer. "Clarke." He smoothed down her hair, "Clarke." He repeated, "Say something so I know it's real."

"I love you." She said, "I love you."

He started to squeeze but he released her when he saw Octavia. "O." His breath hitched when he saw his sister. He took her in his arms and looked as if he never wanted to let this moment pass. "Where were you two?" His voice sounded completely exhausted and strained. "Finn couldn't track you. It was like you disappeared."

Miller finally joined them, holding his shoulder. "We were drugged. Locked up in white rooms. Released into a group full of our friends. We fought guards. We got shot at… We can't find Lincoln. We need to get our people out and that's what happened." He said, "Oh…you asked where we were? Mount Weather."

"Mount Weather?" Bellamy asked, "There are people at Mount Weather."

"Our people are in Mount Weather. Literally. They're underground." Raven said, "We need to reunite with our grounder friends and we need to bust them out."

Clarke stopped listening to Raven and Miller after a while. She could only look at Bellamy. She could only think about her important news and the baby and how she made it out of mountain without any harm. Her eyes never left his face… he was looking back and forth between Miller and Raven until he noticed her. He smirked—telling everyone that the briefing was over. That he needed to be alone with Clarke.

There was just one problem:

Abby Griffin.

"Clarke!" She said as she collided into Clarke. It was strange out the events after that unfolded. Miller grabbed Abby's arm and gave her a slight shove off of Clarke.

"Don't squeeze her so tight!" Raven yelled.

"Fucking idiot!" Octavia wrapped up.

Abby looked at the teenagers before her, "What the hell is going on?"

It was the day Clarke figured out that her friends couldn't keep a secret. Or maybe she was the one that couldn't keep the secret because she surely said, "I'm pregnant."

But that wasn't the worst part of the situation. Miller's initial reaction would never be comparable to his next one once Abby's hand collided with Clarke's face. Clarke's eyes widened as if she were going to defend herself. Luckily, she didn't have to. Miller was going to fight her mother. He was still in war-mode—still in protect-Clarke-mode. "Let her go." Raven said, "She's not worth it, Nathan."

"Defintely not." Clarke said, eyes darkening.

"Does Finn know?"

"Excuse me?" Raven snorted, "Finn is not the father of the baby."

"Who's its father, then?"

Clarke bowed up, "Not an it. You can refer to my child by three names. Baby Clarke, personally don't prefer that one. Baby Blake, because the baby's father is Bellamy. Or Baby Octavia because she has naming rights."

Bellamy remained silent the entire time because what Clarke assumed was pure shock. "Bellamy's the father." Abby said. "You're the father of my child's child? You're 23! She's not even 18! She can't have a baby!"

"But I am." Clarke said, "You can't change that… any time you have with me while I am in this camp—consider it a gift from god because as soon as my business is done here…you will never see me again. I died the day you sent me down here. You should have mourned then." Her words were cold, "Please leave."

"She might be saying please, but I'm not." Miller said. "I will shoot you in the knee." Abby walked away in time for Miller to release a sigh. "Cannot believe I just threatened the only person able to stitch me up without making crooked lines." Clarke swatted him.

"I can do it." Octavia said, "I've got a steady hand and I think our presence is no longer required or wanted here."

Raven and Miller nodded and left, leaving Clarke to face Bellamy. "A baby? Wow…" Those were his first words. Clarke was searching his eyes for a familiar emotion but they didn't reflect anything she'd ever seen before. "I didn't think I could love you any more…"

She smiled, "So you're…?"

"Happy…shocked…amazed…" He smiled, bringing her into his arms. "A baby…wow. Baby Octavia…? I don't think so. The name can't be passed on because she's too defiant."

"Tell her that."

XXX

Clarke talked to Bellamy—not as his girl but as his partner. "We flew too close to the sun." He mused as he looked at her. Clarke sat back in a chair as he drank from a cup of not-so-fresh water. His face became crooked at the taste. She couldn't help but smirk a little at him.

"Funny because we used to live in space." Her small smile was wry. "We have to find Lincoln for Octavia…You didn't see her…" Her screams were burned into Clarke's brain. "We have to save our friends, too."

"I don't want you to go back there." He said, "I know they're our friends…but Clarke…the baby. I doubt you're going to wait months upon months before rescuing them."

"Can I show you something?" She asked him with a smile on her face, pulling the picture of their baby out of her pocket and putting it in his hand. He took one of her hands in his while he held the black and white image. He was silent for a long time.

"You're definitely not going anywhere." He laughed, "You're pregnant with my child…how did I get so lucky?"

"I don't know…you might regret those words after the story of my mental breakdown in the woods reaches you." She said, "I snapped at Raven for being a smart ass as if I'm not used to it." He kissed her hand, "I can't stay here."

"Because of your mom?"

"Because I was arrested for treason and the authority around here hates me." She said, "They killed my dad. And they don't seem too happy with you."

"They're dicks." Bellamy said, "Aren't we just a bunch of rebel parents?"

"Oh my god, we're so bad…" She leaned forward, "You know what Mount Weather didn't have? Take a guess…"

"Oh…" He nodded, "Yeah I think I know where you're going with this." He was smirking, leaning forward to meet her lips. "I don't really have anywhere to take this, though."

"They haven't given you anywhere to sleep."

"I haven't slept." He said, "I couldn't sleep without you."

XXX

Clarke barged into the medical room and looked at her mother. "Save it." She put her had protectively over her stomach. "I need somewhere to sleep." She felt like this was the last place she wanted to be but Kane hadn't listened to her when she demanded a place to sleep. She felt like someone just told her there weren't any rooms at the Inn—dammit! She was with child! She needed her sleep.

"Of course, Clarke." Abby said, "On one condition."

"What?" Clarke crossed her arms.

"Abort the pregnancy."

"Mom." Clarke said, closing her eyes. "I can't do that."

"Why not?"

Clarke shook her head, "I thought I was going to die, mom… I sat in the skybox drawing pictures of earth because that was the most beautiful thing I could distract myself with because I needed that peace before I died. Then, you sent me down here. You sent me to die… but I didn't and suddenly the peace I needed was reality except it wasn't always peaceful but I fell in love. Then, I got taken by mountain people who are psychotic at best…but I thought I was going to die again…but I heard my baby's heartbeat…and I feel—I feel so alive. And this peace is no longer conditional because it's a reality…mom, I can't do that." At this point, she was crying in front of her mother—pleading for her to understand the value of Baby Blake. "I've got everything I never thought I would have."

"You're too young." Abby was tearing up as well. "Bellamy is—"

"You don't know him." Clarke said, "You know one action he committed because of his bond with his family. He shot a man for his sister and if that doesn't scream family-man to you, I don't know what will. I trust him with my life, I trust him with my child's life… can you trust him with my life and my child's life please? Please…"

"I can't let you go." Abby said, "I've done it once I'm not doing it again."

"You can't hold on to the little girl that I was before I got arrested." Clarke said, "I grew up. I changed. I'm probably not as innocent as I used to be but I consider myself a better person. My eyes have opened."

"I see that."

"So…please don't ask me to end this pregnancy again."

"I'm your mother, Clarke." She said, "I love you. I remember when I found out I was pregnant with you—of course, I was under far different circumstances but I was so excited. I don't regret having you…and I don't regret any of my choices."

Clarke nodded, "I love you, too, but I don't like who you've become…I miss my mom. I miss my hero."

"I thought your dad was your hero…"

"You didn't see me trying to be an engineer, did you? I wanted to save lives like my mom." Clarke said softly, "And now I wish my mom would start saving lives instead of aiming to destroy them again. When do you think we'll have a place to sleep? Bellamy's tired. I'm tired. I've been shot at and seriously, baby Blake makes me tired."


	11. Chapter 11

**CHECK OUT MY FRIEND "brookeisabaddie"'s stories! They're really good! Thank you!**

Chapter 11:

Clarke felt the warmth of his bare chest against her smooth cheek as her mind ran through the floor plan of Mount Weather's operation. At first, the images of the white room and the long corridors only appeared when she closed her eyes but now she was seeing the details as she stared towards the entrance of their room. It wasn't just the furniture and dimensions that haunted her thoughts, it was their faces—the faces of her friends. How could she leave them behind? She didn't deserve to sleep...what if they weren't sleeping? "You can't sleep with your eyes wide open, princess." She turned her head up, her hair running across his chin before her lips touched his jaw. "Mmm…" He groaned groggily, "I know you're tired, Clarke. It's not good for you or the baby to pull all-nighters. It creates unnecessary stress." He kissed her hair.

"Little Octavia will be alright. She's used to the stress."

"That's not very comforting and we're not naming the baby after my sister." Bellamy's low voice was a turn on. Hell, everything was a turn on. Her sexual desire peaked with every slow touch and semi-accidental brush of skin.

She pulled away from him so she could see the smile playing across his lips. "What if I make a really compelling argument?" She asked innocently, "Like the baby must be named Octavia for the sake of the population… the research is in and statistics says that is a proven fact."

"The second I review the research, we'll talk." Bellamy chuckled, "I'm actually hoping we have a son. In my experience, girls are harder to raise. They fall in love with tall grounder guys with tattoos—especially the girls named Octavia. How's that for proven facts?"

"Lincoln wouldn't abandon her." Clarke didn't want to joke anymore and Bellamy, realizing his mistake, opened his eyes. "He should have been there."

"It's not your fault that he wasn't, baby." He touched her face with his rough hand, "That's why you're not sleeping?"

She shook her head, "It's not just Lincoln…Monty and Jasper…how can I sleep when they're probably going through hell?"

He sighed, "Because if you don't sleep, you'll be completely useless."

"I'll sleep when I have to…like you have to." She said, "What if I cut you off from sex until you agree to the name?"

"You wouldn't hurt yourself like that." Bellamy said, "Because if earlier tonight was any indication of your new found…well…drive—you're wanting it more than me. I wouldn't be surprised if…" He placed a hand on her thigh, "a simple touch sends you over the edge."

"One would argue that your hand trailing up my thigh, applying just the right amount of pressure is not a simple touch but a deliberate move to tire me out." Clarke kept her cool but her mind was only processing fireworks. She placed a hand over his hand, moving it up her body and back down. She released his hand but he continued to caress her. "I like it when you distract me."

"I know." He purred, "You know what I like?"

"What?"

"Your modified assets…baby looks good on you, princess."

She laughed, "Such a guy…my breast are to feed our child not for you to ogle."

"Right now, they're for me to look at and think…damn, how did I get so lucky?"

"No accidentally get me pregnant?" Clarke snorted, "Yeah…you're inability to pull out doesn't really go under the category of lucky. After I have Little Octavia, we're going to work on safe sex. I'm not going to be the Blake baby factory."

He groaned, "I think I'm awake now."

"Well…" Clarke smirked, "You know what that means, right?"

He kissed her neck, "Mm-hmm, yes. Yes, I think I do."

"We have to discuss a plan to get our friends out." She said, watching him frown. Her arms pulled the blanket over her shoulder, scooting over until she was on top of him. Her knee pressed into his side as she pressed a kiss into the sensitive skin of his neck. "I love you." She said, "Our child, Little Octavia or little boy, will love you too."

"I don't know why you would ever love a man like me." He said, "I don't know how to be a father, Clarke. I help raised Octavia as a _child. _I've changed…I never say the right thing, anymore. She's mad at me more than she's happy and—"

"Do you love me?"

"Of course I do."

"Would you die to protect our child?"

"Yes."

"Then I don't understand how you would think you'd be a bad father. Love and protection are the basics of being a parent. Our baby is the size of a raspberry and I love her…I love her so much and I know I will protect her with everything I have."

"Or him…you know there's like a 50% chance of having a boy, right?"

She tipped her body down, touching his lips with her own. Clarke was only mildly aware of the fire she was starting while his hands hurriedly removed her tight bra. She had to break the kiss to sit up and slide the garment off of her arms and onto the floor. She felt the warmth of his hand pushing her hair over her shoulder as he looked into her beautiful eyes. She could see his dilated pupils, a sure sign of his arousal. His lips turned up as his hand slid down her skin slowly, her blush following his movement. His hand settled over her growing breast, his smile increasing as her nipples pushed into his palm. He started to move his hand, massaging her tenderly. Her head fell back as the sensation pulsed through her body, eliciting a soft moan from her. "I told you…the simplest touch, baby…" He said so quietly, so seductively.

He leaned up, taking her mouth to his and pushing his tongue through her soft lips. She parted her lips for him, moaning once more as his bare chest pressed tightly into hers. Their mouths left hot, sloppy trails on each other's faces. He hissed as she took his lip between her teeth when he threatened to pull away. He felt her fingernails in the back of his neck as she pushed him closer to her.

His fingers pressed into her back to tell her that they couldn't be any closer. He let his hand fall down her back to her waist. He gripped her tightly before she broke their kiss. He looked up at her, his mouth open and his eyes searching her face. She climbed off of him, removing her underwear while he watched her with heavy eyes. He was exhausted but he _wanted _her. He positioned himself over her, nibbling on her collarbone before he pushed into her slick opening. She was more aroused than usual, that was the _first _thing he noticed as he started to thrust in and out of her.

The second was how _loud _she was. He enjoyed it when she was loud, calling his name out in their room as loud as she could without waking anyone else. He was positive that the neighbors knew who lived next door by the time she reached her climax and clawed into his shoulder. Her intoxicating moans and heavy breathing sent him overboard. Her heightened sensitivity would be the death of him…or maybe the frequency of her lust for him would kill him.

All he knew was she curled into his skin and closed her eyes, eventually drifting off into a deep sleep. He smoothed down her messy hair and kissed her head. "I love you, Clarke." He whispered.


	12. Chapter 12

**My goal is to have 100 reviews by the end of this story! **

Chapter 12:

The noise that she'd grown used to suddenly stopped, causing her to roll over in her sleep. Her eyes shot open in the dark, empty room. Her breathing picked up as she started to panic. Her mind was telling her that she was in the white room again. _Something is wrong…something is wrong… _she continued to think as she looked for some type of light. If she were in the white room, why couldn't she hear the baby's heartbeat? She told herself that the baby's heartbeat was 150 beats per minute but she couldn't hear it…she couldn't hear her…

And then she breathed as she realized she wasn't in Mount Weather anymore. She tossed off the sheets and hurriedly grabbed her clothes. _Where the fuck is Bellamy? _She thought as she slid on her boots and buttoned her pants. She wasn't close to showing but she could feel the snugness around her stomach. What the hell was she going to do about clothes? It wasn't like they had maternity clothes…maybe if she exercised and kept off excess weight apart from the baby…

She read somewhere that exercise was healthy during pregnancy. Even so, she could always ask the grounder women for clothes. She enjoyed their long, loose dresses—those would be perfect. She'd really look like a princess then. A dark cloud settled over her thoughts as she remembered the Ark's rejection towards the grounders. They would need the grounders to rescue her people… She had to express that as soon as possible.

Clarke caught her reflection off of the broken glass for the crash. She buttoned up one of the buttons she usually kept open, frowning because it wasn't working for her. It stretched in an unflattering way so she unbuttoned it and decided to zip up her jacket instead. "I look awful." She said under her breath as she walked down the corridor, feeling sick to her stomach. She felt _off. _She passed by people she thought she remembered but she couldn't place their names. She would feel guilty about _that_ when her people were returned safely.

No, actually, she probably would never feel guilty about not knowing the names of people who wanted to sentence innocent people to death. She felt it…just like Miller said. The realization that everyone was an enemy. Her trust could only extend to specific limits and those limits were as far as she could outstretch her arms. The time for family reunions were long off into the distance—her conversation with Abby hadn't changed her stony adamancy when it came to her alliance with the grounders. She wasn't going to lay her armor down and give up her feet for anyone…

She would protect her child but she refused to raise her child in a world of ignorant bliss. She could not pretend the past hadn't happened—she could not forgive and forget. The line was drawn and there was no going back. She would unite with the grounders, she would free her people, and she would get the hell out of the community she felt like a prisoner in. She knew the only reason she hadn't been arrested was because of who her mother was—not because of who she was. If she were only the girl who threatened to commit treason, she would have been in the make-shift jail already. The system was already corrupt.

It was odd how her hand ached for the cold metal of a gun and how they longed for the blade of a knife. She felt her nails digging into her palm as she stepped into the harsh sunlight. She blinked to adjust her eyes before she continued to walk. She scanned the area for a familiar—no, she didn't give a damn about familiar—she was scanning for a trustworthy face.

Raven.

Clarke walked over to her, a thin-lipped smile on her face. Raven merely nodded in response, "You don't look too well." She commented as Clarke stepped in front of her, letting out a heavy sigh.

"Then I look how I feel." Clarke said, "Have you seen my boyfriend?"

"You know, boyfriend is kind of a degrading term for what you have with him."

"Baby daddy?" Clarke suggested with a snort. "I'm not going to go around asking people where my baby daddy is. How is Miller?"

"Decent." Raven said, "How is baby Octavia?"

"Apparently I'm not allowed to name the baby Octavia." Clarke rolled her eyes, "I think I'm about to throw up." Her voice was completely calm as she started to breathe in and out. Raven started to rub her back soothingly but Clarke shook off her hand. "I'm fine." She snapped before walking away to get sick in private. She wasn't going to make a scene. She practically jogged to the designated restroom area. She locked herself in the bathroom and let herself go. "I hate being pregnant." She told herself, "I'm going to get fat and this throwing up thing is not cool."

She dabbed the tears that formed under her eyes before standing up and walking out of the bathroom. Suddenly, she didn't have any motivation at all. She wanted to sleep. And she wanted to stop smelling everything…the particles were sticking in her nose and it was awful. These people smelt awful, she smelt awful. She missed Monty more than ever as she walked around the camp—he could fix the stench with his brilliant mind.

Clarke crossed her arms defensively when her mother crossed the camp to talk to her. "We need you to reach out to the grounders. I understand you are friendly with them." Clarke yawned as her mother was talking about the importance of being friendly and diplomatic until the _kids _were back and safe with their parents. She stopped mid-sentence, "I'm sorry, Clarke, am I boring you?"

"I can get supplies together and meet with them by tonight." Clarke said and Abby frowned.

"We can send solider. You're not going."

"But I am." Clarke argued, "How am I supposed to reach out to them if I am not there? They aren't going to trust your soldiers! They're going to trust the person with the mark."

"The mark?" Clarke pulled up the hem of her shirt to reveal her tattoo. "What did they do to you?" Her mother sounded like they tortured her. Clarke snickered and rolled her eyes. Her mother's pale face brought humor to her life. It was in the process of rolling her eyes that she saw Bellamy walking around the camp aimlessly.

"We'll argue about this later." She smiled in his direction, blowing off her mother as she walked away from her. Eventually, she caught up with him because he was walking fairly fast. "I hope you're looking for me." She called, earning a small chuckle from him before he turned around.

"If I tell you I was looking for Miller instead, what would that get me?" He leaned down to kiss her but she covered her mouth with her hand.

"You don't want to kiss me until I've used acid as mouthwash." She informed him, "I was acquainted with morning sickness this morning. I should probably apologize to Raven for being a bitch, actually. But I also want to take a nap. Would that be selfish of me after my mother asked me to reach out to the grounders? Of course she doesn't want me to go anywhere but duh, I'm going to have to."

He frowned, "You aren't going anywhere, princess."

"The hell I'm not, Bellamy! They're our friends…its fine."

"And I suppose you're in the state to defend yourself against animals and whatever the forest brings you? Hell. No. Clarke, I'm not letting you walk out of this gate." He shook his head, "You're not going, end of discussion."

She opened her mouth and blinked at him, "You don't tell me what to do."

"As long as you're carrying our child—"

"No!" She yelled, "Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I'm not capable. I'm going. That's the end of discussion. I broke out of a mountain, I can handle some friendly conversation." He grabbed her wrist when she attempted to shove pass him. "Let me go."

"You aren't thinking logically, princess. You aren't going to take unnecessary risk. I can talk to the grounders." He said, "They know me, too, remember? You aren't the only one capable of doing this."

"You know how important this is to me!"

"I know how important _you _are to me." Bellamy argued, "I almost you once, Clarke. It's not happening again. I don't know what's out there or if they're looking for you. So, no…you aren't going and if I have to look you in our room with Miller outside, I will." The intensity in his dark eyes told her that he was being absolutely serious and had no intention of backing down. She was not permitted to leave camp—not as long as she was under his watch. The look in his eyes also told her that he knew _her. _He knew that her mind was already turning around thoughts of an escape. She was already making a list of her allies and questioning if Miller would be more loyal to her or more loyal to Bellamy if it came down to make the choice.

She moved by him angrily, "This is bullshit." She informed him, "I'm not broken because I'm pregnant. I can still do things."

"Nope." Bellamy told her, "You aren't doing anything that could interfere with your strength."

"Well I guess we aren't having sex, then."

"That's not what I meant—"

"Oh, honey I'm pregnant and I should really conserve my energy. Go fuck yourself."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

Their eyes fluttered at the obnoxious banging against the metal door. She heard Octavia rise breathlessly from a deep sleep. Clarke watched as the faded blue blanket moved down her body because Octavia was snatching it with her while she leapt from the bed, stumbling and falling to her knees. She cursed, only to stand up again and slam into the metal door. Clarke suppressed a giggle, "Who is it?" She groaned sleepily.

Octavia was wearing a pair of jeans and her undershirt. There were thick lines etched into her skin because of the position she was laying in for the majority of the late afternoon. She was in a bit of a depression because of Lincoln but she also didn't want to be confronted by strangers. The memory of her nickname, "The girl they found in the floor" circled her mind as she thought of all the strangers she'd never met before.

Her question of who was knocking at her door had limited answers but they both knew who it was. His apologetic voice echoed throughout the tiny room (almost as small as Bellamy's tent) shortly after Clarke regained her ability to comprehend her surroundings. She was tired and she was annoyed with him. She faintly remembered being annoyed with him. "Is she in there, O?" He asked sweetly, causing Clarke to sigh heavily. She had to remind herself why she was upset in the first place. Bellamy was being a caveman—he wouldn't let her do what she had to do. It wasn't fair. Clarke shook her head as an indication that Octavia should lie. She wasn't ready to face him—she knew his viewpoint was not going to change and what was the point of arguing?

"No." Octavia answered flatly, wiping the sleep from her eyes as she stood idly by the door. She looked down for a moment to see if it was locked. Of course it was locked…if it wasn't, Bellamy would be staring at them with those brown eyes and judging their sleeping arrangements. "I haven't seen her since last night."

"I know you're not being honest. Let me in." Bellamy sounded as if he were fighting his own annoyance. He understood why Clarke was angry with him, he'd fallen in love with a strong woman who liked to do things _her _way. She was used to fighting with him, it was practically second nature. He imagined the fights would only increase over the course of her pregnancy. He was typically strong but Clarke made him…she made him w_eak _but the good type of weak. She was the type of weakness that brought intense happiness—but also fear. He'd never been more afraid in his life when it came to protecting his family. It hit him hard that his entire family was hiding in the same room from _him. _

He heard his little sister sigh, "Not going to happen. I'm naked." If he could see the smile on her lips, he would have converted his frown to an instant grin. Octavia turned back to look at Clarke and winked. "Come back later."

He didn't speak to Octavia this time, he spoke directly to Clarke. "Baby…" He called to her gently, pressing his forehead to the door. Clarke looked at Octavia, her own weakness evident on her face. Octavia groaned before she opened the door. She watched as her brother dove for the bed .5 seconds after seeing the love of his life.

"Looks like I'm not going back to sleep." Octavia mumbled as she shut her door, locking it once more. She sat on the edge of her bed as Bellamy kissed on Clarke's flat stomach, muttering apologies left and right for offending her. She smiled at the sweet moment but she soon felt a pang in her heart for Lincoln. She looked away from the scene and focused on the welded lines in her bedroom. After a while of sickening kissing sounds, she felt her brother's hand on her shoulder.

"You know we're going to find him, right?" He told her and she nodded, not exactly sure if he was right. He pulled her close to his chest and laid her down next to him much like Clarke was next to him. He had both arms wrapped around the two—no, three—most important people in his life. He watched as Clarke reached over him to hold Octavia's small hand. "We're going to be okay. Everyone is going to be okay."

No one voiced their doubts in that moment because they were scared they would ruin it. The truth was, they had nothing going for them and everything against them. They weren't allowed out of the gate—trust in Bellamy's adamant stance towards Kane to let him talk to the grounders rather than reckless soldiers or Clarke when it came to that argument—and they weren't allowed weapons.

Clarke kept reciting her plan over and over in her mind.

_1). Talk to the grounders—get them to agree to work the Ark. Talk the Ark into not slaughtering their friends. _

_2). Rescue her friends! _(She didn't really have a plan for the actual rescue mission. She would need time to think over the best possible plan for that.)

_3). Get the hell out of Camp Jaha. A lot harder than it sounded. _

She closed her eyes and continued to build her plan in her head. She had to get out of the camp to talk to the Commander. She had to find Lincoln… for Octavia. She had so many things to do in a short amount of time. She wanted things done before she started to show or before her baby bump was an _issue. _"We're still not having sex." Clarke mumbled when she felt Bellamy move.

"I wasn't trying anything, princess."

"Oh, I know. I just thought I would slip in occasional reminders so you don't forget." She smirked, "I'm not joking, Bellamy. You're seriously cut off."

Her only response was an uneasy groan as he realized she was being absolutely serious.


	14. Chapter 14

**Review and comment baby name suggestions! Either gender is welcomed! Thanks for the continued support-I know I took a bit of a break but I'm officially back on the story! **

**-Kay **

**P.S. Check out my two new stories Nightmares and Endlessly 3**

Chapter 14:

Her skinny hand caressed her growing stomach as she watched her mother and Kane complete an intense conversation. She could barely see them through her squinted eyes but she had a _feeling _something wasn't right with their outdoor argument. She averted her gaze when her mother looked in her direction, turning back to Octavia with a weary look in her eyes. She wasn't in the mood to talk about the unfairness of her situation. She constantly had eyes on her—she was positive the only reason Octavia hung out with her all day was because she _had _to. "What do you think about Wendell?" Clarke was on a baby name kick. She wanted to keep her options open, especially if she was having a son and she was completely wrong about the gender of her baby.

Octavia snorted, "Wendell?" She'd been extremely judgmental about any name that wasn't her suggestion or wasn't her own name.

"It's a nice name." Clarke argued but Octavia's sarcastic smile made her shake her head, "Fine but it's going to be in the metaphorical jar of baby names."

"Seventeen weeks pregnant." She mused as she forked around the metal pan of dried meat. Clarke bit the inside of her lip as she watched Octavia eat. She felt her stomach growling but she refused to ask for a bite. She'd already eaten _way more _than usual. "Clarke…seriously, if you keep staring at me while I eat—I will punch you."

She narrowed her eyes, "I'm trying to convince myself that I'm not actually eating for two before I turn into two of me." Her hand moved down her stomach once more to emphasize the weight she'd already gained—purely baby. The cotton of her shirt was barely working for her anymore. She needed to find proper clothing before her stomach was protruding from the shirt like her growing breast.

"But you _are_ eating for two." Octavia said, "So take your pregnant ass up there and start acting like it." She pointed towards the ration table. Octavia was getting very comfortable with bossing Clarke around but Clarke hated to tell her who really had dominance. She knew Octavia was going stir-crazy within the walls.

Clarke shook her head, "No. I'm fine, really."

"Don't make me snitch." Octavia arched an eyebrow.

"Don't make me cut your hair off in your sleep." Clarke countered with sass.

"Seriously, when are you going to stop crashing at my place? I'm getting tired of sharing a bed with you and Bellamy." Octavia said, "Just have sex already."

"I've managed to make it ten weeks without sex." Clarke pointed out proudly, "He hasn't let me out of the gates once. I figure he'll crack by the time I'm 20 weeks pregnant and be so—you really don't want to hear about my plan, do you?"

"Not for a second." Octavia gagged, "What about Landon? Landon is a nice name, too."

"Add it to the metaphorical jar." Clarke sighed, "We should tack on a last name to make sure it sounds right. So, Landon Blake…I don't know how I feel about that. Wyatt Blake? Ethan Blake? Wendell Blake? God, I love the name Wendell."

Raven joined them, "Wendell, really Clarke? Octavia is a much better name for the baby."

"Thank you."

Clarke mumbled, "Suck up." She felt a hand on her shoulder as Miller sat next to her. She smiled at him and he laughed. "What do you think about the name Wendell?"

"That's not going to happen." He assured her, "Just like Bellamy and you are never going to have sex again if you keep this thing up."

She frowned, "Tell him to stop sending you to talk me into it."

"He didn't send me."

"Then stop trying to make your life easier. I understand he's acting like he just quit smoking but he'll get over it."

"Unless he doesn't." Miller said, reaching over to Raven's plate to take a piece of meat. Raven smacked his hand away, shoving multiple pieces of meat into her cheeks to aggravate him. "I don't understand what the big deal is."

"Simple—I want out of the gate. I've been here ten weeks and we haven't made any effort to break out our friends. They could be _dead _by now." The thought alone sent a shiver up her spine, "I'm tired of waiting around. We owe them."

Octavia threw her fork into the metal plate, "Raven…get us out of the gate."

"And face Bellamy? No fucking thank you."

"Raven. Please. She's right—think about Monty and Jasper and everyone else. They wouldn't leave us behind." Octavia sighed, "It's not like we're going to storm the mountain. We're going to talk to our friends."

Raven let out a loud sigh, "Let me think about it, okay?" They all stared at her. "I'm not just going to rush into it. Give me time." They would have continued to stare but Bellamy joined their table. They looked away from one another and Clarke had to hide her calculating stare from him for a moment. She breathed, looking back up at her boyfriend. He eased between her and Miller, his arm wrapping around her waist. The sensation alone sent a pleasurable shiver up her spine. S_he wanted him so fucking bad _and he knew it. She would take him right there on the table if her friends weren't around. The only thing that made her hold onto her self-control was the fact she was doing this for her friends. She was doing this to save lives. She couldn't think of a better reason to be celibate. He moved his fingers up her back tauntingly. "I think I'm going to give up sex, too. Of course, I'm going to need you to be my sponsor. You think you can hold off for a year or two while I reevaluate my life?"

Clarke's head shot up to look at Raven, "If it's something that you're really committed to—yeah." Clarke played along, "Two years isn't that long." Bellamy's fingers pressed harder into her back as she talked to Raven. All he had to do was let her leave…

That's it.

One meeting with the grounders and he could have her as many times as he wanted.

He was just a stubborn son of a bitch.

Luckily, she was just as stubborn. "We could make a lifestyle out of it. Born again virgins and everything."

"Unless I get married." Raven pointed out, "That's the only time I would lose my new virginity."

Clarke shrugged, "Marriage is overrated." Bellamy's hand moved to rub his hand across her thighs, "If I became a born again, I would never lose it."

"Y'all just a bunch of teases." Miller said, "Don't go spreading pure thoughts because it's seriously been amazing ever since Bellamy got taken off the market."

"I'm going to ruin your entire game." Raven narrowed her eyes, "Maybe then you'll learn to keep your hands off my food."

"Fuck you."

"You can't, never having sex again." Raven stuck her tongue out at Miller who mimicked her action. Clarke felt Bellamy's hand move up to her baby bump and she frowned at him. He caressed their child softly and put his head on her shoulder to get a better angle. How could she continue to deny him when he was so _damn perfect? _


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15:

Clarke walked into Octavia's room with a smile but immediately had to turn on her heels. "Oh my god…" She panted, her hand over her mouth as she struggled to hold down the bile building up in her throat. "Oh my god!" She repeated as another wave of the horrible scent hit her.

She was absolutely exhausted as she wobbled through the hallways leading to Octavia's tiny room. She was thinking about the soft pillows against her head and the sheets tangling around her ankles as she enjoyed an afternoon nap. Every step she took was uneven as she felt her dwindling energy from a 24 hour shift Bellamy didn't know about—why? Because the jackass got to leave camp, that's why and her mother was going to show mercy on her pregnant daughter. She was going to "do her part" and Clarke was too stubborn to argue or put herself above the multiple people that needed help. It was now obvious to everyone that Clarke was pregnant—the bump, her baby, had grown quickly despite her attempts to keep off the weight.

She felt like a sea lion, only knowing that her weight would continue to increase as she morphed into some type of elephant. Bellamy had been gone for the better part of four days and she was starting to feel uncomfortable in her own skin as she walked alone. It also felt weird because Miller was breathing down her neck about safety even though he was the one constantly coming into the medical area with a deep cut or a head wound. She imagined the speech was directly from Bellamy, meant to be rehearsed every morning as she ate her breakfast and every night before she locked the door to Octavia's room in his face.

Clarke opened the bedroom door, hit with a smell that almost caused her to immediately vomit. "What in hell?" She yelled at Octavia as the brunette waved off smoke. "Are you burning sage in your room?" Clarke coughed heavily, moving out of the doorway.

Octavia frowned, "I'm warding off bad juju, Clarke. It's for the baby."

She narrowed her eyes at Octavia, "I'm going to my room."

Her room was untouched for the most part—she hadn't slept in her own bed since telling Bellamy they weren't having sex anymore. "You look like shit, Clarke. Where have you been? It's what, 8 AM and you're just walking in through the door. I thought you were already in your room."

Clarke sighed, "Just tell me if your brother decides he wants to come back." She shut the door, watching the smoke fade away from the hallway as she walked. She was too tired to think of Octavia's antics but she would revisit the subject much later. Her main issue was the fact that Octavia lived so far away from them. She would bring it up when she found Lincoln—it seemed wise to have a tall grounder behind her when she requested a bigger space.

She'd been thinking about her plan every night and maybe she was delirious but she was leaning towards staying in Camp Jaha until after the baby was born. She trusted Bellamy with her life but she didn't exactly want him delivering their child. She wanted a doctor to do it. Although, if for some reason a doctor wasn't around she would settle for him. Octavia only seemed to have minor brain damage—how bad could it be? After she had the baby, they could take off into the sunset. That is, as long as the 47 were on her heels as they ran.

Her plan to free the 47 seemed to cross more and more lines she disagreed with every single day. They would need explosives to break into the mountain and they were going to have to kill innocent people. Causality of war or not—it sucked. The grounders were trained warriors and they would be doing most of the killing, sure, but guns also factored into the equation. As much as she wanted all of the 47 to return home with her, she knew that they might lose some people in the process.

She closed her eyes as she walked, almost running into her overprotective bodyguard. "Clarke…I thought you were with Octavia? What are you doing walking around at this hour? Sleep until 10:30 remember?" Miller told her, "You just throw up or something?"

"Yeah." Clarke nodded her head, faking feebleness. She knew that Miller did _not _do throw up. "I think I'm going to again. I'm going to go now…"

Miller hesitated, trying to figure out how loyal he actually was to Bellamy. Hell, he hadn't seen him in days and he didn't really expect him to _watch _Clarke all the time did he? Miller wasn't always breathing down her neck—he gave her space last night when she told him to go to sleep around midnight. He listened to her. "Yeah, you do that." He said, "I'll check on you later I guess."

_No you won't._

She wanted to cry at the sight of her mattress when she entered her bedroom. It was so welcoming and _amazing. _She face planted into it and pulled pillows to fit around her stomach like a comforting human being. She'd made Octavia play with her hair until she went to sleep for the last four nights because she wasn't used to sleeping without Bellamy even though she was used to not _sleeping _with Bellamy.

It only took her moments to fall to sleep, her soft snoring overtaking the room. She hugged the pillows closer to her as she dreamt and didn't wake up until someone loudly knocked on the room door. She groaned, checking her watch to see that it was just after 11:40 AM. Why couldn't they just let her sleep? She pushed herself of the bed, feeling a wave of dizziness as she pulled an Octavia and nearly ran into the door. Her eyes squinted at the light radiating throughout the hallway as she opened the door, "You're needed." Jackson explained, following up with "I'm sorry, Clarke. I know you need your rest but I'm just following orders."

Clarke nodded, running a hand down her face as she wiped away drool. "I'll be there in five." Her groggy voice gave away how truly tired she was. She stumbled back to pull on her shoes, only to realize she was already wearing them. She hadn't taken anything off in the process of getting ready for bed. She looked into the small mirror by their bed and frowned at herself. "God." She said, disgusted. "I look horrible."

She started walking across camp, her hands working to put her hair into a messy bun. Her mother looked at her and said flatly, "Nice for you to join us."

"I'm sorry." Clarke apologized, "I'm just tired. It's difficult—"

"You should have thought about that before you got pregnant, Clarke." Abby said, "As I've said before, I baby isn't reasonable in these conditions." If she didn't need the support of the Ark to free her friends, she would have punched Abby in the face. And here she thought things were going so well…they barely spoke, sure but it's not like they were getting lost in conversation on the Ark. She thought they'd reached some sort of agreement after their conversation but it seemed that she was under the wrong assumption.

Clarke swallowed and threw herself into what needed to be done without another words being exchanged between her and her mother.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16:

Clarke exhaled shakily as the room started to spin around her. It was the first time she'd been _this _tired. She was two hours away from transferring into a hallucinated state. Over the last twelve hours, she'd stitched three deep cuts and wrapped one sprained ankle. She came to the conclusion that the only reason she was even there was so her mother could punish her. She'd been awake for 36 hours, excluding her two hour nap and she was beginning to reach a breaking point. Jackson had been sent home and was just about to rejoin her after an eight hour sleep session. That's how she knew this entire thing was _personal. _

She'd even been blessed with Kane's presence only to receive unwanted sympathy from him as well as an unwanted hand on her stomach. If the rumors were correct, Kane had some correlating DNA with her unborn child and if the rumors were correct, she absolutely hated him for abandoning not only Bellamy but also Octavia (although, she supposed he either kept Octavia hidden with Aurora Blake or he didn't know she existed.) "Your help towards expanding the human race is appreciated."

Clarke was so tired that her sarcastic humor was leaking, "Next time you talk to a pregnant woman, don't use the word _expanding_."

"My sincerest apologies." Kane said and she saw the bits and pieces of his physical appearance that people compared to Bellamy. Maybe they were related in a different way…maybe Kane wasn't his father but the resemblance was _there. _

But that was long before the clock struck midnight and day four turned into five without Bellamy. She sighed and tried to keep her hands moving to stay away. She thought she was imagining the sounds from outside of the medical wing and ignored them until Abby hurriedly rushed into the area and told her, "You can go now."

Clarke sighed before meeting her mother's eyes directly, "Why are you doing this to me?"

Abby seemed to want her out of the medical wing that _instant. _"I don't know you mean." She said in a rush, "But you should go to bed."

That's when she heard the celebration, "Bellamy's home, right and you don't want him to know that I've been working for almost two days straight on two hours of sleep because you _know _it's wrong."

"I was trying to be kind and give you time with your…whatever he is but if you are ungrateful, Clarke, you can stay for the rest of the night. The supplies need to be organized." Clarke looked at her with an opened mouth.

"You're a bitch." She said, "A cold, calculating bitch. Do you really not care about your grandchild? You want to run me down—want me to stress and miscarry, is that what it is?"

Her mother stared at her, "You're too young to have a baby, Clarke. Too young to be with him…"

"Even if I were to lose this child, Bellamy wouldn't be out of the picture. I hate to tell you that but you're under the wrong assumption to think we're together because I'm pregnant." Clarke said, "I'm going to bed. I am going to sleep all day tomorrow. I won't be coming in. If you have a problem, talk to Bellamy about it or better yet talk to Miller—he's in charge of situations like these." Clarke stormed out of the medical area in search of Bellamy but her eyes were blurring around the camp at the small fires and cheerful people. _If I were Bellamy I would look for me…and I would go to Octavia's apartment...but how long has he been back?_

She couldn't pinpoint when she heard the celebration—couldn't even see what time it was on her watch. She stood in the middle of a crowd staring at her watch for a good ten minutes until Raven tapped her on the shoulder. "Are you timing him or something?" She laughed before she moved to look at Clarke directly, "Oh my god…Clarke, you look like death."

She didn't know why she was spilling her guts to Raven but it was on her mind, "I've been awake for 36 hours with a 2 hour nap." She explained, "Pretty sure I just evaded an abortion attempt. I just want to find Bellamy."

"I can help you do that." Raven said, "Can you walk straight?"

"I'm not impaired."

"But you're pregnant and absolutely beat. Octavia said your center of gravity is off so back pain is common…so."

"Just take me to my baby daddy." Clarke mumbled as she started to follow Raven around the camp towards Octavia. She held up a hand telling Octavia not to comment, something Octavia did unwillingly. The second her eyes fell on him, she crashed into him—her arms wrapping tightly around his neck as she pulled him as close as she could without crushing her stomach. He hugged her back and she felt the urge to just fall asleep standing up. "Don't ever, ever leave me here again." She told him weakly, "Please."

She had no idea the affect her sentence plea had on him...

It pained him to see her so broken and weak-he had half a mind to beat the hell out of Miller but he suspected someone else's hand in her misery. He held her tighter for what seemed like forever before he whispered, "Let's go back to our room."

She nodded into his shirt. "The best thing I've heard all day."


	17. Chapter 17

"_Woke up sweating from a dream with a different kind of feeling/_

_All day long my heart was beating searching for the meaning/_

…

_All my hidden desires finally came alive/_

_No, I never told a lie to you/_

_So, why would I start tonight?" _

Chapter 17:

It was easy to find the indication of stress on Clarke's face and he immediately notice it when she was in his arms but even more so when they were alone in their room. Her hair was hanging sloppily from a tie and her eyes were nearly shut with exhaustion the second she saw their unkempt bed. "Did you sleep here by yourself?" Bellamy asked because he specifically remembered telling Octavia that Clarke needed to be watched as she slept in case something happened.

She yawned, "For two hours. Don't worry." Her voice was short and annoyed—no, Clarke was pissed but it was hard to tell between her sleepiness and angry tossing of pillows towards the head of the bed. "I just avoided an assassination attempt."

"What?" His voice rose well above his typical octave. She took a seat at the end of the bed, near where he stood and looked up at him with misty, bloodshot eyes. He smoothed backed her hair and waited for her to speak but instead she cried. It was a heartbreaking cry that he hadn't ever heard before—not from her at least. "Baby?"

She choked on her tears as she tried to form words. Eventually, all she could do was wrap her arms around his waist and press her head into his lower abdomen just to _feel _some type of comfort. He unhooked her arms and lowered himself to his knees before her. "I don't mean to be a mess…" She said apologetically, "I just…" She was struggling to tell him what her mother had done because it would change _everything. _"She…"

"Who?"

"Abby." The usage of her first name solidified that something had happened that made Clarke feel the need to drop her usual 'my mom…' He placed one hand on her face and the other on her swollen stomach. "She tried to kill her, Bellamy." Clarke sniffled before she fell back into another fit of sobs. He didn't even care about their gender war at the moment. He held the back of Clarke's head as she left dark patches of tears on his shoulder. He felt the sting of tears in his own eyes as he listened to her unsteady breathing. "I looked her in the eye, practically begging her to lie to me and she…she remained truthful and stated her opinion once more."

"What did she do?" He didn't want to ask the question—but he had to know the answer. What were they dealing with? Poison? Herb?

"She attempted a covert stress related miscarry." Clarke said, "24 hours without any sleep turned into 36 hours of being in the medical room due to her orders."

"You need to sleep." Bellamy said, "Let's go to sleep, Clarke. Don't argue…this is important."

"I know." She said and pulled away from him. She struggled to push herself back towards the pillows, "I'm fat, don't laugh." She said with a light blush on her cheeks.

"You're not fat, Clarke." Bellamy said, "You look pretty hot to me."

"That's because it's your child I'm carrying. If I were pregnant with someone else's kid, you'd see the walrus I really am."

"Shh…" He said once her head hit the pillows. He quickly pulled off his own boots only to turn and slide hers off her feet. She smiled down at him but her eyes were shut. His hands pulled his shirt over his head, watching her breathing even out as she fell asleep. He smiled at the sight of her pale skin contrasting against the blue blanket and her unwavering beauty. He moved beside her, wrapping his arms around her before he kissed the side of her face and confessed his love to her and his child.

He closed his eyes and soon drifted off into his own "light" sleep.

When he finally woke up—she was missing. He groaned sleepily, rolling over to his side until he willed himself to get out of bed. He was almost one foot out when she said, "Oh no mister, you're not going anywhere. We're staying in bed today." He smirked as she handed him a plate of the boar they hunted down and slaughtered.

"Only if the bigger plate is yours." Bellamy said, eyeing her overall body. Clarke was thinning some places, growing others and it was bothering him to see her so unhealthy but glowing due to the hormone influx in her body.

"I can't eat all of that—it's wasteful."

"You might, but Little Bellamy can."

"No way." Clarke said, "Not a junior—we are not naming our child Bellamy."

"Well, we aren't naming our child Octavia either nor Wendell."

She forced him to move back over to the side of the bed he was sleeping on. Normally, he didn't sleep away from the door but he wasn't going to argue with her last night. She sat down and started picking at her food. "I really like the name Wendell." She said under her breath, causing Bellamy to half-smile in her direction. "Tyler is a good name."

"Not as good as Bellamy." He practically sung, "You know, princess…baby…Clarkie as my sister lovingly calls you behind your back, I actually have an appetite for something much greater than this right now. I'm sure the baby doesn't want daddy to go hungry."

"But mommy does want you to go hungry until she gets what she wants. Right baby? Right." She moved her hand down her stomach and smiled. "Outnumbered."

"Oh I think mommy wants daddy _real bad _but she's being extremely stubborn."

"Not as bad as daddy wants mommy." Clarke sang just like Bellamy had before. "Not as bad as daddy wants mommy, right? Because daddy wants to have S-E-X and he is not going to get _any _if he keeps treating me like the baby. He's going to be so deprived that you're going to be telling him _for me _that he's not going to get any. I think daddy can do five…seven years without, right?"

He looked over at her, "What if I want you right now?"

"Then it's really simple…it all depends on how bad you want it." Her voice switched from a baby coo to seductive in a matter of seconds and Bellamy had to swallow hard to control himself. "There are things I want to do to you that will blow your mind but none of that will ever happen as long as you keep denying me of my natural right to save our people."

"Dammit." He groaned before his lips crashed into hers. She set down the plate onto the floor before straddling him. She grabbed a fistful of his hair, pulling his head back when he attempted to pull at her shirt.

"No." She hissed at him with a smile curling at her lips, "You have to say I can leave this camp."

"Clarke…"

She grinded into him and he closed his eyes, his mouth falling open for a split second. "Say it." She told him.

"_Fine. _Princess, you can leave this camp with _guards. _I'm not letting you walk around by yourself." He said, groaning as she licked up his neck mid-sentence. His mouth opened once more as she peppered kisses across his face only to connect with his lips with a minor moan. Their tongues frisked one another as she rocked against him. He pulled her shirt up over her head and worked hard to keep it together.

Eleven weeks was too fucking long without Clarke.

He watched her take off the rest of her clothes as he removed his pants quickly. She moved between his legs unexpectedly and pressed her tongue to his throbbing length. He fidgeted, attempting to forget how nervous he was about it. He'd never faced performance problems—he was young and healthy but he felt like a teenage virgin that'd never been touched. She circled his head, her hand massaging his base delicately but with a friction he would never forget. He wasn't exactly sure foreplay was what he wanted right now but his body was accepting it _so very well. _Her head bobbed up and down and he was positive that if she continued to suck him the way she was doing, he wouldn't last very long. "Baby…" He groaned, "I can't wait anymore. Eleven weeks…_eleven _and as amazing as this feels…damn, oh my _fucking god…_Clarke, stop."

She unlatched, looking up at him with a devilish smirk. "I'm just making sure _daddy _enjoys himself." She said innocently and he almost lost his mind pining her underneath him. He could feel her stomach pressing against him and the sense of pride that he'd done _that _made him smile no matter how unintentional it was. He didn't care what Clarke said about her own self-control, she was ready for him. She was _soaking wet _for him and he felt his pride flare for a different reason. He moved into her, listening to her moan his name as she adjusted herself.

Each thrust reminded him that she made him wait for eleven weeks—that she'd won this war and he wasn't sad about it. Of course, he knew he would regret his decision much later when she was walking out of the gates because there was no way in hell Abby was going to let them walk out the gates together. "Bellamy…" She called to him, her fingers digging into his back as he continued to move rapidly between her thighs. "_Yesyesyesyes_…" She squealed when he pressed deeper into her—there was a small fear about going _too deep. _He was trying his best to be careful but they were both reactive to each other's touch like never before.

It wasn't long before they were both panting, looking at each other while resting on their sides—spent and ready for another nap. Well, at least Clarke was ready for another nap—he wasn't sure he could ever sleep again with her feline seduction skills haunting him. "You should try eating again."

Clarke groaned, "I'm not hungry."

"Half the plate?"

"A fourth."

"A third." He argued, "Eat a third of the plate of food and I will leave you alone for the next four hours about food."

"This why you're going to be a good dad."

He snorted, "I just hope our child isn't as hard headed as you."

"Well, duh. Our kid is going to be the most hard headed out of anyone's kids. _Our kid _is going to be ten times worse than us according to the Chinese curse."

"We're so fucking screwed."

"So fucking screwed." She agreed, "But so lucky, too."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18:

It was the night before Clarke, Octavia, Miller and Raven were to disembark on their trip to the grounder village. Her hair was in a tight braid as she prepared for a walk that would surely leave her out of breath. Clarke looked down at the stretching fabric of her cotton shirt and the dingy white elastic piece Octavia had sewn to look like an extra layer but was really only concealing her skin. Her back was pressed against the wall of her room as she awaited the return of her boyfriend. "I'm not comfortable with this." Bellamy told her as he entered the room again after leaving abruptly for a few moments to control his anger. They'd been fighting for the last week about the _same _thing.

"But it's happening." Clarke told him. The hand over her stomach only served as a reminder that she was not only endangering herself, but their child. Bellamy started to feel the anger rising in his chest again as he looked at the stubborn creature before him. It sucked that his anger usually morphed into sexual tension because he really wanted to _fight _her on this. He wanted to tie her to the bed (didn't know if that was more about sex or her safety). "You agreed."

"I wasn't in the position to disagree." He said with a small laugh.

"It's not my fault you can't control yourself." She mimicked her laugh.

"Clarke—" He switched back to his serious tone.

"It's happening." Clarke told him once more, "I don't know why you continue to bring it up when you know it's only going to lead into a fight. My mind isn't going to change because you're looking at me like _that. _There isn't anything that could change my mind unless I die."

"Don't say that." Bellamy begged, "I can't go down that road."

She huffed, "It's going to be fine."

He moved across the room and slammed himself into their bed. He extended his arm out to her because he wanted her to follow. She crossed her arms and glared at him. "Seriously?" He groaned, "We're really doing this again?"

"Normal people don't want to have sex the second their back is against a mattress." Clarke informed him, "So…yeah, we're doing this again."

"You're going to be gone all day tomorrow…" Bellamy said, "You put me through eleven weeks of torture and now you're leaving and you won't have sex with me? I appeal your decision."

"On what grounds? The fact that I'm getting too big or the fact that you're not going to want to have sex with me every night?"

"That will _never _happen." Bellamy snorted, "Ever."

Clarke rolled her eyes, "I'm going to be the size of a house."

"A beautiful house." He groaned, "A very beautiful house…"

"But a house." Clarke said, "Look at this." She pulled up her shirt to flash her stomach to him. He jumped up, placing his warm palms on the swollen arc. "I said look, not touch."

"Same concept with you." He pressed into her, rising to take her earlobe between his teeth before whispering softly, "Damn, you're beautiful, Princess…you've always been so fucking beautiful." He captured her mouth with a hungry urgency, his tongue finding hers only for his to curl and dance saying desperately, _please don't go… _She crushed against his full, throbbing lips as a plea for him to not make her stay. She twined and tangled, curled and fought to make sweeping, wet searches in his mouth only to find that he wanted to _control this… _He could control this because he couldn't control her—he couldn't make her stay with him.

Clothes evaporated like water.

His hands trailed down her silky, creamy skin with a sigh as if he were committing every piece of her to memory. His hands traced the glow of her body, over the curve of her stomach with a fascinated smile. He loved her soft, curving flesh. He brought his swollen lips to her stomach, kissing a straight line up her skin before reclaiming her lips. He brought her forward until she was rightfully on top of him the way he wanted her to be—for now, at least.

Clarke was absolutely certain that he couldn't understand the sensitivity of her skin. He couldn't grasp how achingly swollen her breast felt or how they didn't even feel like her own. The worst part was the fact they were still blossoming so they could perform their intended purpose creating an amount of discomfort in the process. He eyed them like tantalizing offer, his hands moved up her skin with a slow smile on his face. His hands gently kneaded and stroked her breast before she moved down to skim her body against his chest. He groaned, flipping their position the way she wanted him to.

Her hand gripped his broad shoulder while his tongue danced down her neck. Her fingers began to run down his arm, feeling the hardness of muscle beneath her touch. His body was tight, hard and corded with muscle—his scars only outlined her favorite parts of his skin. He was overwhelmingly sexy compared to her, she thought, his beauty was something she could never have herself. She hoped their child would be beautiful like him.

She would never get used to his blatant, aggressive magnificent arousal and how he pressed himself against her leg long enough for her to know he wanted her. When they came together, she let out of soft whimper of pleasure into his neck. Her arms were now tight around him as he entered her fully with one deep thrust, pulling out slowly and returning gently. She moved to accept him—to please him long enough that he would forget she was leaving in the morning. She was truly accepting all he could give her—inch by incredible inch.

Their sensual rhythm of repeated rocking motions, slamming thrusts, and slow circling hips were met by harsh, uneven breaths. She sucked in a lungful of air only to exhale a ragged gasp as she found that she couldn't lie still underneath him. She felt his warm and erratic breath tickle her throat as he kissed her, his arms wrapped behind her back tightly. "Fuck." She hadn't even realized the word fell from her lips. She tangled her fingers in his hair while he drove her to _everything. _ His shattering release—the way he poured himself into her caused her to cry out in pleasure, a smile hinting on the corners of her mouth when he kissed her cheek and then her lips with the same satisfied smile.

It took them ages to regain their breathing but he eventually mustered up enough strength to ask something that's been on his mind for quite a long time, "Clarke, will you marry me?" It made sense. They made sense. He loved her and they were about to have a child together. Why shouldn't they take the next step?

"No."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19:

"No?" Bellamy's face contorted as he asked the question. He was so sure she was going to say yes—that she was gush with happiness and wrap her arms around his neck. But Clarke said 'No' with those beautiful blue eyes looking up at him as if he were joking. Honestly, she thought he was joking. She _hoped _she was joking. There was no fucking way they could get married right now… the situation was too ridiculous.

"No." She said again, the loving and post-bliss look on her face fading away.

"Seriously, _no?" _

Clarke sighed and explained her response, "Well, look at the facts. We don't want to be here." She started listing the reasons she didn't want to get married—none of which had to do with him at all. "Our friends are trapped in a mountain." She sighed, "Let's go on to people that may or may not complicate an engagement. Abby, Kane, Octavia—"

"Octavia?"

"You know how your sister gets. She was burning incense, Bellamy. Incense. Because she thought she would calm the baby."

"Okay, continue…"

"Finn, Miller, Jasper, Monty, Lincoln and—"

He grabbed her hands, "Listen Clarke, I'm going to tell you this one time—okay, I'll probably tell you it when you're having our son. But, fuck them. Every single last one of them—fuck 'em."

She sighed, "Wow. Great advice, baby—seriously?"

"I don't care about Abby, Kane, Finn—especially not Finn, Miller, Jasper, Monty, Lincoln…or even Octavia when it comes to our relationship. They don't matter. They won't _ever _be the reason I don't marry you because I am going to marry you, Clarke Griffin. You will be my wife. So, princess…tell me about your fears, the real ones—not the list of names and things we have to do."

Clarke sighed again—or yawned. It was late. "Four years down the road. I've never had to think that far. Ever. Now, I'm pregnant and that's what I'm thinking about…sort of, not really because I've been thinking about our friends, my little list, and I'm scared of four years down the road. I'm scared of five years and six and so on…because what if you wake up one day and realize that you should have kept it about sex—what if I become your number one mistake? Then, what? We divorce? We stay together?"

"Hold on." Bellamy put his hand up, "Listen, princess…I know you have your little plans and stuff and that's fantastic but four years down the road I'm going to be laying in the bed looking at you wondering how I got so lucky to have a beautiful _wife _and an amazing child. If we're laying in this bed or a bed down the hall or a bed in the freaking middle of the woods…I'm going to know I'm lucky and that's as far as I can plan because we both know nothing in our lives go to plan."

"We're forgetting it's about survival down here." Clarke said, "We've been living in a bubble. The second we enter the world where _they _aren't shuffling us around like cattle—giving us meaningless tasks to occupy our minds…we're going to be less free."

"For better or worse, Clarke. Pretty sure that's part of our future vows."

"What if we fail to save our friends?"

"What if we don't get married until we save them? I'm not asking you to marry me tonight, I'm asking you to say that you'll do it…"

"That's—"

"Don't say it's a hard decision and you need to think about it. You've made harder decisions, Clarke. What does your gut say? Hmm? Instinct?"

"That I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but you know that."

"Maybe I want everyone else to know it, too. Want to upgrade your title? Fiancée sounds _great._"

"My fiancée knocked me up." She widened her eyes sarcastically, "Oh yeah…that does sound _great." _

Bellamy kissed her forehead, "Is that a yes?"

She struggled to make the decision under pressure but she smiled eventually, "Yes."

"We don't have to get married tonight, or next week or next year…but I like to know that you're leaning towards it."

"I want to get married the day our friends are free."

"Right on the mountain." Bellamy said, "Guns firing, bombs going off and everything. It'll be a wedding for the books."

"I'm sure everyone will remember it."


	20. NOTE (NOT A CHAPTER!)

**Note:**

**I'm going back and editing the earlier chapters of this story and I won't be continuing it until I am finished-please review my edited chapters and tell me what you think. I promise I will finish this story eventually and it will only take me a week or two to finish my edits. Thank you for the continuing support! **


End file.
